ARGENTINA: Next to Godliness

As Argentina’s Minister of Education, Dr. Oscar Ivanissevich has a habit of dropping into classrooms around the country to deliver homespun lectures on the greatness of his boss, President Juan Perón. Last week, in a broadcast aimed at all the nation’s schools, Ivanissevich outdid himself.

“President Perón,” said Dr. Ivanissevich, “never leaves a faucet running more than is absolutely necessary. President Perón, when he leaves a room, puts out all the lights himself. In this way he saves money which would otherwise go abroad to pay for coal and oil. General Perón is also very careful about his clothes. You will never see a spot of dirt or cigarette ash on his suit, and that is not simply because his servants remove the stain. It is because he does not soil his clothes. When a suit gets dirty by accident, that is not so bad, but it is unpardonable to see the day’s menu on the lapel of one’s suit. By carefully avoiding dirt we not only save cleaning fluid, but the suit will last longer.

“Let us imitate General Perón, the Teacher No. 1 of the new Argentine School!”