MANNERS & MORALS: A Perfectly Rational Funeral

There was neither minister nor music at the funeral service in Denver last week for Oscar O. Whitenack, 79, who for eight years edited the “Open Forum” column of the Denver Post. When a handful of mourners gathered at the flower-covered coffin they heard the voice of Whitenack himself explaining why.

“This is my funeral,” came a voice from a recording made four years before. “I am an atheist and have been for many years. I have the utmost contempt for theological nonsense. Clergymen are moral cowards. Miracles are a product of the imagination. If any four reporters were sent to an execution and got their facts as twisted as the apostles in the Bible report, they would be fired forthwith. I want no religious songs. This is going to be a perfectly rational funeral.”

Then, in accordance with Oscar Whitenack’s wishes, the record of his funeral oration was laid on his chest, sealed in the casket and buried with him.