Miscellany, Nov. 14, 1949

Goose & Killer. In Los Angeles, Policeman Ernest Young was suspended for taking from C. S. Smith Metropolitan Market, in addition to his usual free apple: two quarts of milk, a bottle of whisky, a loaf of bread, four rolls of toilet paper, and portions of toothpaste, shaving cream and skin cream.

Full Service. In St. Paul, Minn., when Motorist Darrald Schoenheider refused to pay $7 for having his 1934 Buick hauled out of a swamp, the tow-truck driver returned to the scene, shoved Schoenheider’s car back into the swamp.

City Fathers. In Rowley Regis, England, the town council voted to install violet street lamps after local girls complained that the old yellow ones were unflattering and thus a hindrance to romance.

Capital Investment. In Philadelphia, arrested and charged with stealing a 20-ton crane truck with a 40-ft. boom, Forrest Bowers explained that he had been seriously considering “going into business for myself.”

Age of Progress. In Portland, Ore., Mrs. Elizabeth Slaney called attention to a special feature planned for her new $175,000 drive-in theater: a button system for every car to bring a vendor on the run with a fresh supply of popcorn.

Proper Name. In Los Angeles, the National Pest Control Association, in annual convention, voted to form a women’s auxiliary to be known as the Ladybugs.

Stylist. In Rio de Janeiro, Decio de Souza Santos, who made a habit of sending a letter of apology to each of his burglary victims, was arrested when he showed up at the stationer’s to buy a fresh supply of his favorite note paper.

Best Friend. In Detroit, Glen Stewart asked the court to be lenient with the dog that bit him: “I suffered no ill effects but the dog got sick.”

Lares. In Washington, arrested for toting an ice pick in the bosom of her blouse, Mrs. John L. Williams blandly explained: “I was moving and I just needed some place to carry it.”

Scenic Effect. In Philadelphia, the Tilles Restaurant removed their suggestion box after two days when a quick checkup showed that 96% of the male customers wanted nothing added except prettier waitresses.

First Lien. In Joplin, Mo., Mrs. Mabel Tarrant charged that her husband claimed he was justified in removing her false teeth to prevent her from visiting friends: he had paid for them.