Miscellany, Sep. 27, 1943

Hearts & Showers. In Falls City, Neb., nine-year-old Jimmy Shafer rode his pony into an auction ring, started weeping as the bidding rose, wept increasingly, set the bidders blubbering, finally caused the auctioneer to sob out: “I just can’t do it.” The sale was called off.

Out of the Night. In Denver, Sergeant Jerry Stritz mailed his last year’s Christmas cards, explained that he had been in love and forgotten all about it, was now himself again.

Accomplice. In Hamtramck, Mich., police suspected the Stanley Wienceks of selling mutuel tickets, frisked them, found nothing, frisked their infant son, found 63 tickets in his diaper.

Removals. In Rosalia, Wash., H. C. Roberts, who had already got rid of a corn by cutting off his little toe, got rid of another by cutting off his other little toe. In St. Augustine, Fla., somebody finally got the nickels from a Florida East Coast Railway pay toilet by making off with the door.

Child Psychologist. In Westerly, R.I., imaginative Patrolman Joseph Delaney found a missing five-year-old boy by sounding the fire siren. It brought him running.

Willingly to School. In Kansas City, when the University of Kansas City opened a course in income taxation, it ran out of chairs for the pupils.

Nero Hour. Over Rome, Captain Harry R. Burrell’s waist-gunner saw fires, snatched up a violin and fiddled.

Somewhere I’ll Find You. In Omaha, Merchant William Rosenau snapped up a bargain, put it on display in front of his store, hoped for a customer named Carter. His find: a 2,200-lb. unused tombstone bearing that name.

Battle of the Sexes. In San Francisco, all 19 babies born in a two-day period at a local hospital were girls; next week all 22 born in another two-day period were boys.

The Way It is. In Los Angeles, a café proprietor finally had his front window permanently lettered in gold leaf: “Monterey Café—Waitress Wanted.”

He’s Down. He’s Up: In Washington, OPA announced that it would be all right for laundries to stop sewing on pajama and underwear buttons, all right for cleaners not to bother with getting the lint and cigaret ashes out of trouser cuffs. But cigaret retailers who gave away matches a year ago last March must keep on giving them away, said OPA.