Religion: Monkey into Pulpit

“Backward, turn backward, O Time, in your flight, Make me a monkey again just for tonight.”

Not a Keith circuit clown, nor a newspaper colyumist, nor a child”playing animals” gave voice to this utterance. It was the Rev. Z. Colin O’Farrell announcing his text for a sermon against Evolution in the First Baptist Church of Butte, Mont.

Gloom pervaded the church, save for the glare of one spotlight playing upon the speaker’s platform. There stood the Rev. O’Farrell, gesticulating, shouting to make himself heard above a strange series of interruptions. Beside him, chattering, chirping, squeaking, a lively monkey tugged and chafed at the cord that tethered it to a broomstick. Brought into the pulpit by the preacher to advertise his bold sermon and to illustrate his bold points, the simian had to be held in place by the sermonizer’s 12-year-old daughter.

The Rev. O’Farrell, perspiring heavily with his exertions, blamed the teaching of evolution for the Franks murder in Chicago, said: “We are suffering from acute mental and spiritual intoxication,” said “To save the world for God, we all must use drastic methods,” wiped his brow, concluded: “We will now sing Hymn 123.”