Miscellany, Jun. 12, 1939

Chief

In Clarkesville, Ga. Police Chief Segers held up a bank, seized $330, tore through the business district in a city truck scattering the currency. Said Sheriff Frank Wofford who arrested him: “Quite evidently something has happened to him.”

Bloodhound

In Crouch, Idaho, State Prison guards lost a bloodhound, used another one to find him.

Eyes

In Boston, James Moran hired twelve men, varying from cross-eyed to farsighted, issued them muskets with blank cartridges, marched them out to Bunker Hill, reconstructed the Revolutionary battle, to prove that Captain William Prescott could not have shouted: “Don’t fire until you see the whites of their eyes!” Result : the far-sighted men opened fire at 75 feet, the normal-visioned at 50, the near-sighted never fired at all, were presumably “skewered on enemy bayonets.'” Explained Moran: “I’m doing this because I like to have fun.”*

Salesman

In Eau Claire, Wis., Oil-burner Salesman W. B. West, arrested for speeding, could not pay the $20 bail bond. He got the money by persuading the desk sergeant to make a $20 down payment on an oil-burner. 13

In Chicago, the Hotel Association announced a new guest service: a dummy in impeccable full dress to unjinx dinner parties of 13.

Driver

In Detroit, Bus Driver Guy Hinton, fed up with years of driving the same old route, felt the need of a change. He turned off his prescribed route, went left or right whenever he felt like it, finally just drove in circles. Said he to startled passengers: “You can’t get off until I’m ready to stop.”

Finger

In Spokane, a tarantula crawled over Grocer James Wilson’s little finger. Because James Wilson had a horror of tarantulas, an exaggerated fear of their venom, he seized a butcher’s cleaver, cropped off his finger.

Plane

In a Greensburg, Pa. swimming hole two boys goggled at a falling plane. While they stared, it fell on them, killed one, badly injured the other.

* Fun-loving Moran once set himself to find a needle in a haystack (time: 82 hours, 35 minutes); sold an icebox to an Eskimo; peddled advertising for display on barbershop ceilings.