Miss Nice vs. Miss Hip

Which pageant’s better–Miss America, which takes place this weekend, or Miss USA? As the formula grows tired, each organization is doing everything it can to shore up its beauty queen’s territory. Here’s what a fight card might look like.

TITLE MISS AMERICA

POPULATION 14,046,000 TV viewers

SPIN Worthy; emphasizes education and charitable service

NEW HOST Donny and Marie Osmond

SITE Atlantic City, N.J.

TALENT Each of the Top 5 contestants (rather than the Top 10) will give a two-minute performance

ENTERTAINMENT 98[degrees]–in a video performance

SCORING New emphasis on speaking skills. Onstage interview is now worth 20% (an increase of 10%), evening gown 10%, swimsuit 10%, talent 15% and preliminary scoring 45%

NEW SWIMSUIT RULES Any swimsuit but no thongs or string bikinis

JUDGES Michael Badalucco of The Practice; Briana Scurry, goalkeeper for the USA Women’s Soccer Team; Judge Judy

CAN LOOK FORWARD TO A TV career: Mary Hart (1) (Entertainment Tonight) was Miss South Dakota 1970; Delta Burke (2) (Designing Women) was Miss Florida 1974

PLOY TO GET NEW FANS Moved show up an hour so crowning moment is not past bedtime

WINNINGS $40,000 scholarship; six-figure earnings for speaking engagements; crown (with 700 real stones!!)

[TITLE] MISS USA

[POPULATION] 12,922,000 TV viewers

[SPIN] Chic, fun, fashion forward

[NEW HOST] Soap star Shemar Moore

[SITE] Branson, Mo.

[TALENT] No talent competition

[ENTERTAINMENT] Performances by the Atomic Fireballs and country singer Collin Raye

[SCORING] Swimsuit, evening-wear and question segments are each worth a third of the score

[NEW SWIMSUIT RULES] A one-piece suit, a tankini or a two-piece

[JUDGES] Michelle Phillips of the Mamas & the Papas; actress Kelly Le Brock; Kevin Richardson of the Backstreet Boys

[CAN LOOK FORWARD TO] A famous spouse: Donna Dixon (3), Miss Virginia 1976, is Mrs. Dan Aykroyd; Marla Maples (4), a 1983 Miss Georgia runner-up, is an ex-wife of Donald Trump, co-owner of Miss USA

[PLOY TO GET NEW FANS] Offers an early glimpse at a possible Miss Universe

[WINNINGS] Salary, car, computer, clothes, jewelry; everything from prepaid phone cards to an agent, plus a crown (with 729 real stones!!)