People: Aug. 10, 1998

CO-ED EDUCATION: IT CAN BE KOOKIE

To his friends and family, writer-director-actor Edward Burns is known as Ed or Eddie. But in the credits for his latest role, in Saving Private Ryan, he’s listed more formally as Edward. Seems ’50s television veteran Edd (“Kookie”) Byrnes claims sole right to the name Ed Burns, no matter how it’s spelled. Here’s how to tell them apart:

EDWARD BURNS

–Directed and starred in film No Looking Back –Once worked at Entertainment Tonight, located near the Sunset Strip –Currently works in Hollywood –Born Edward Burns

EDD (“KOOKIE”) BYRNES

–Starred in film Go Kill and Come Back –Best-known role was as the parking-lot attendant on 77 Sunset Strip –Hasn’t worked in Hollywood since 1989 –Born Edward Byrne Brietenberger

FAMILY CIRCUS

Infighting between bands on this fall’s Family Values tour has reached a Faulknerian level of dysfunction. Scheduled to perform are heavy-metal favorites KoRn, Orgy and Limp Bizkit, but one relative off the roster is ROB ZOMBIE, pictured below. Two weeks ago, members of KoRn claimed they kicked Zombie off the tour for, among other transgressions, “not exemplifying the community spirit of the trek.” They replaced him with German band Rammstein, with whom they share “a great mutual love and respect.” Last week Zombie fired back, saying he quit the tour because he was being prevented from staging the elaborate show he’d planned. Don’t wait for a Family Reunion tour.

SCENES FROM A MOL

Vanity Fair has demonstrated a most Vernon Jordan-like interest in fostering ambitious young talent. In previous months, the magazine has showcased Matt Damon and Matthew McConaughey on its covers before either had cracked the big time. We can only imagine what awaits budding “It Girl” GRETCHEN MOL, who, though still an unknown, will make her second cover appearance on the magazine’s September issue. In April, Mol appeared as part of the ensemble fronting the magazine’s “Hollywood” edition, shot, like the photograph above, by Annie Leibovitz. Audiences can decide for themselves whether Mol is worthy of such attention this fall when she appears in Rounders with Matt Damon and in Woody Allen’s film Celebrity with Leonardo DiCaprio.

PUGILISM NOTES FROM ALL OVER

In difficult moments, it’s important to be among kindred souls. So when MIKE TYSON appeared for his boxing-reinstatement hearing last week before the New Jersey State Athletic Board, he brought along a few character witnesses. Explaining why Tyson might have bitten off a portion of Evander Holyfield’s ear in a fight last year, former light-heavyweight champ Bobby Czyz offered, “If I hit an opponent and his eye fell out…I would eat it before he would get it back.” Alas, even this touching testimonial did not comfort Tyson. After some tough questioning, the boxer became tearful, then angry, refusing to read his closing statement, and sputtering expletives. The panel has 45 days to consider Tyson’s status. In brighter brawling news, Lord of the Dance MICHAEL FLATLEY has retired his dancing shoes and is considering a boxing career.

DEMI’S NICE. NOW ABOUT THOSE GUNS…

MICHAEL DOUGLAS has played some pretty undiplomatic characters in his career, but that didn’t stop U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan last week from appointing the actor a U.N. Messenger of Peace. Douglas plans to journey to Albania this fall to help stem the use of small arms. Asked what credentials an actor brings to diplomacy, Douglas replied, “It’s easier to start off a touchy conversation talking about what Demi Moore or Kathleen Turner is like, than immediately confronting an issue.”