And Now, the Omaha Oscars

The Marie Antoinette Award for Noblesse Oblige. Dan Quayle’s remark that “those people” at a food bank in Indiana were “glad” that “I took time out of my schedule to go down and talk” with them.

Watch My Lips, Not My Voting Record. Lloyd Bentsen accused Quayle of having “one of the worst voting records on veterans’ issues.” The Veterans of Foreign Wars gives the two Senators precisely the same rating (74% favorable).

Most Alarming Statistic. Tom Brokaw’s assertion that 65 million American children live in poverty. There are 65 million children in all the U.S.; 13 million are considered poor.

The Youth Must Be Served Award. To Quayle, for interjecting, “I can hear you O.K.,” after Bentsen had complained to Jon Margolis that he could not hear a question.

Most Obvious Name-Dropping. Quayle’s assertion that Chancellor Helmut Kohl of West Germany and Britain’s Margaret Thatcher “know” him. He has met each only once, and for no longer than a few minutes.

Legislative Legerdemain Award. To Bentsen, for accusing Quayle of voting to cut Social Security benefits eight times. Quayle voted only to delay cost of living adjustments, just as Bentsen did.

The Fort Lauderdale Award for Extracurricular Studying. To Quayle, for claiming that he had read three books during his last “spring vacation.”

Most Macho Gesture. To Bentsen, for picking up his wife B.A. at his final debate rehearsal and terrifying his aides that he would throw out his back.

The Alexander Haig “I’m in Control” Award. To moderator Judy Woodruff for taking longer to quiet the audience than it spent making noise.