Yes We Cannes

VIVE CANNES!

1. The White Ribbon (Michael Haneke) Strange, brutal crimes afflict a German village in 1913, and everyone–the stern adults, the winsome children–is a suspect in Haneke’s spare, unsparing Palme d’Or winner. A masterpiece.

2. The Time That Remains (Elia Suleiman) The 60-year history of occupied Palestine as seen by Suleiman and his parents. Sounds glum, eh? Not so: its vignettes are absurd, poignant and subversively funny in a film that’s a deadpan delight.

3. Precious (Lee Daniels; in theaters 11/6) At 16, Precious (Gabourey Sidibe) is fat, illiterate and pregnant after being raped by her father. Her reclamation is a miracle, and so is this U.S. indie drama–the highest form of feel-good movie.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

4. Inglourious Basterds (Quentin Tarantino; in theaters 8/21) In the Pulp Fiction guy’s alternative World War II, French and U.S. Jews defeat Hitler. The film’s not such a clear triumph, but Best Actor Christoph Waltz is one charming conniver of a Nazi colonel.

5. Antichrist (Lars von Trier) Mutilation, masturbation and a delicate appendage spurting blood made this the festival’s official outrage and won Charlotte Gainsbourg the Best Actress prize. It’s art-porn at its nuttiest.

6. Drag Me to Hell (Sam Raimi; in theaters 5/29) Note to bankers: don’t cut off loans to your customers, at least if one is a crazy Gypsy. Alison Lohman does and suffers gorily in this schlocky shocker from the director of Spider-Man and Evil Dead.

THREE REASONS TO HAVE STAYED HOME

7. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (Terry Gilliam) After Heath Ledger died last year while shooting this film, Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell stepped in to complete aspects of his role. Their gallantry and Ledger’s enduring charisma aside, the film is a sodden botch from the mad-genius auteur of Brazil.

8. Taking Woodstock (Ang Lee; in theaters 8/14) Ideally, this tale of a Catskills kid (Demetri Martin) who helped set up the 1969 music fest would be a genial footnote to the big event. But it’s muddling and grossly played–a sad, bad trip.

9. Tetro (Francis Ford Coppola; in theaters 6/11) Members of an Italian family fight and unite, but this ain’t The Godfather. The glorious black-and-white imagery can’t rescue Coppola’s film from a fatal case of dramatic inertia.