That’s Showbiz

Who says elections must be dull, worthy affairs? Three weeks before Brits go to the polls, the great pageant of British democracy was throwing off moments of offbeat hilarity that derailed the parties’ ferocious message machines. The Conservatives have gained traction by pushing an annual limit on immigrants, which is why their Dorset South candidate Ed Matts released a photo of him and former Minister Ann Widdecombe holding posters reading controlled immigration, not chaos and inhumanity. Unfortunately, in the original, he was holding a photo of a family of Malawian refugees, and her poster said let them stay. He had to apologize for his creative airbrush.

Besting the traditional kissing of babies, the Liberal Democrats’ leader, Charles Kennedy, produced one, his first son, Donald — and then proceeded to make sloppy campaign appearances in an admittedly sleep-deprived state. And when Prime Minister Tony Blair launched Labour’s manifesto flanked by six Cabinet ministers all standing at space-age lecterns, one question was inevitable: “Who is the weakest link?” — a reference to the TV game show where the worst-performing contestants get voted off. The reporter suggested it might be Blair himself, whose popularity has been flagging, especially compared with that of Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown. Labour’s loudest grinding ax, economic competence, was potentially blunted by the collapse of Britain’s last major carmaker, MG Rover; the government quickly announced a $284 million package to help with the consequences of 5,000 lost jobs. Opposition parties grumbled about the need for an official inquiry, but failed to convey how they would have saved the long-suffering firm. But the most amusing sideshow since the start of the campaign has been the sight of Blair and Brown ostentatiously parading their rekindled love, hoping the double act will reassure voters who have soured on Blair but seem inclined to vote for Labour.

As implausible as the political class finds this show, it may be working. Faced with polls showing Labour still gaining, Conservative leader Michael Howard redoubled his emotional appeal to “ordinary, decent folk, who know that things are wrong but are being intimidated into silence” by Blair’s crowd of trendy metropolitans. Nick Sparrow, head of the pollster ICM, pointed out this was awkward turf for the Tories, “banging on about second-order issues,” while Labour, though tarnished, “focuses on the economy, schools and hospitals people care most about.” Dull and worthy, it would seem, still have their place.