DEPARTMENT
“Gas prices are so high Robert Blake and O.J. are forced to carpool on the search for the real killers.” –JAY LENO
EPA TO DROP E, P, FROM NAME Acting Administrator Stephen Johnson said, “We’re not really ‘environmental’ anymore, and we certainly aren’t ‘protecting’ anything.” –Fake news in the ONION
“According to USA Today, Randy, Jermaine and Tito Jackson have been showing up every day at the Michael Jackson trial, but Janet Jackson hasn’t. Apparently, it has something to do with Janet having a job.” –CONAN O’BRIEN
More Must-Reads from TIME
- Your Vote Is Safe
- The Best Inventions of 2024
- How the Electoral College Actually Works
- Robert Zemeckis Just Wants to Move You
- Column: Fear and Hoping in Ohio
- How to Break 8 Toxic Communication Habits
- Why Vinegar Is So Good for You
- Meet TIME's Newest Class of Next Generation Leaders
Contact us at letters@time.com