• U.S.

Miscellany, Jul. 3, 1950

2 minute read

The Bite. In Eastbourne, England, police warned the public against a pickpocket who squirts toothpaste on his victims’ clothing, then niches their wallets while helping them wipe it off.

Clue. In Knoxville, Tenn., police tracked down the prankster who had phoned in two false alarms, both times giving his right name.

Par. In Louisville, Ky., a traffic judge considered a policeman’s testimony that Mrs. Katherine Mae Sahner had been “very talkative” when arrested for reckless driving, dismissed the drunken-driving charge against her with the comment: “Many women are talkative.”

All in the Family. In New Haven, Conn., Mae Kelleher, injured in an automobile accident three years ago, finally won $4,719.93 damages from the driver, whom she had married in the meantime.

Let’s Face It. In Manhattan, a beautician bought newspaper space for an ad beginning: “Is your face too broad for T.V.?”

. . . According to His Need. In Santa Fe, N. Mex., James B. Hannah, who had bought a new gas tank cap, found the old one in his car, along with a message: “Dear Sir: Undoubtedly you have by this time noticed that your gas tank cap has been missing. I borrowed the cap from you. You see, I had the same misfortune you did. I have since found my own gas cap, so I am returning yours. Yours very truly, An Honest Thief.”

Climbers. In Detroit, the American Collectors Association announced at its annual convention that henceforward bill collectors would prefer to be known as “adjusters of delinquent obligations.”

Out of Season. In Independence County, Ark., Trapper Clifford J. Perkins checked his traps, found that he had caught i) a bobcat, 2) a game warden.

Trial & Error. In Pittsburgh, Daniel A. Marra admitted in court that he used to beat his wife, but gave it up “when I found out it was not doing any good.”

Old Reliable. In London, Court Commissioner Blanco White decided that professional Knife Thrower Ralph Noakes was not guilty of cruelty when he heaved a storm lantern at his wife, partner in his vaudeville act: “A first-class shot would not have missed her with a storm lantern if he had meant it.”

Silent Witness. In Detroit, Frank Buss, charged with biting a policeman while drunk, got a suspended sentence when the judge learned that he had no teeth.

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