Miscellany, Nov. 7, 1949

Inside Job. In Newport, Ky., after 45 members of the police department had voted on a trustee for their pension fund, Chief George Gugel called the whole election off: the ballot box contained 51 ballots.

After the Fact. In Rio de Janeiro, Butcher Manoel Silveira Merinho, arrested for selling his customers second-grade meat at first-grade prices, was released when the station-house cat ate the evidence.

Well-Groomed. In Detroit, Motorist A. Warren Hostetler was charged with reckless driving when police caught him steering with his knees, using his hands to comb his hair.

Now Hear This … In Columbia, S.C., longtime Navy Cook L. W. George could not conceal his shock when state fair judges awarded his chocolate cake first prize: “I thought my light fruit cake was the prettiest and the best.”

Discount. In Hamilton, Ont., the thief who stole Mrs. Frank Gnup’s $50 set of golf clubs telephoned the next day and offered to sell everything back at half price.

How to Win Friends. In Houston, Harris County Tax Collector Carl S. Smith hired the Dale Carnegie Institute to train his 125 clerks to make taxpaying “as pleasant as possible under the circumstances by giving courteous, polite and smiling service.”

Fun & Games. In Texarkana, Ark., charged with aggravated assault for severely wounding her husband with a knife, Mrs. Hazel Washington stoutly maintained in court: “We play like that all the time.”

Poacher. In Greeley, Colo., Henry C. van Schaak Jr. explained that he opened fire on a low-flying airplane only because it kept scaring the ducks he was trying to shoot.

Salesman. In Milwaukee, haled into court for peddling toys without a license,, Alvin B. Wolff persuaded the judge to buy three mechanical penguins before he was ordered to get out of town.

Interference. In Long Beach, Calif., the Rev. Ralph M. Grove called in engineers to help his hard-of-hearing parishioners : the church’s newly installed earphones were picking up nothing but local police calls.

Armed Might. In Highland Park, Mich., police arrested Francis Vivian and took away his arsenal: a long-bladed knife, a blackjack, bow & arrows.