• U.S.

Miscellany, Oct. 31, 1949

2 minute read

Matter of Accent. In Amarillo, Tex., radio station KGNC reported that William Lester Buzzard (rhymes with petard), who had escaped from the Potter County jail, paused in his flight long enough to complain by long distance that newscasters were mispronouncing his name.

Occupational Hazard. In Harrisburg, Pa., the state unemployment compensation board of review ruled that girls who resign because “the employer makes improper advances” are entitled to jobless pay.

Expert Witness. In Tacoma, Wash., on his way to the governor’s conference on traffic safety, Motorist Ferd Schaaf was arrested for drunken driving.

Plus & Minus. In St. Joseph, Mo., Truck Driver Dick Rice was robbed of $40 by a gunman who tied him up and offered some advice: “Tell your company you lost $50. It’s insured and you can make $10 for yourself.”

Any Questions? In Los Angeles, the Master Brewers’ Association carefully explained why a bottle of beer sometimes gushes over: “Colloidal particles acting as nuclei are responsible for the liberation of carbon dioxide gas from the unstable, supersaturated solution of carbon dioxide existing when the container is opened.”

With Interest. In Minneapolis, the gunman who robbed the Day Loan Co. of $2,300 called up an hour later to gloat: “You turned me down for a loan … so I got mine today.”

Jackpot. In Detroit, Mrs. Yolan Somlo won $5,000 damages because a hotel slot machine toppled from the counter and struck her on the head just after it had paid off.

Samaritan. In Englewood, Colo., Policeman Martin Knisley smashed his patrol car and was driven by George D. Rash to the station house, where Knisley thanked Motorist Rash for the ride, gave him a ticket for speeding and passing a stop light.

Chapter & Verse. In Moline, Ill., James Carl Jones, charged with robbing three churches, explained: “They were the only places where I could find peace of mind.” In Berkeley, Calif., Frances L. Worthington, admitting that she was “one of the most accomplished pickpockets in the world,” declared that her favorite Bible quotation had always been “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.”

Wheels of Justice. In Chicago, awaiting trial for burglary, Howard K. Hansen was notified that he had been excused from serving on the jury that was scheduled to try him.

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