3 minute read

‘To require this Christian society to allow atheists not just to join but to conduct Bible classes … That’s crazy.’

ANTONIN SCALIA, Supreme Court Justice, during oral arguments on whether a California law school can refuse to recognize a Christian student group because it excludes gays and atheists

‘We get some people who say, “Is it too late to buy insurance?” It is.’

BOB CHAMBERS, an executive at San Diego–based CSA Travel Protection, explaining that calls from travelers stranded in Europe by volcanic ash from Iceland had jumped 50%

‘Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes.’

HOJATOLESLAM KAZEM SEDIGHI, an Iranian Muslim cleric, blaming women for a spate of recent temblors around the globe

‘I will not be taking a paternity test, ever!’

OPRAH WINFREY, responding to a reporter’s question about a new biography that claims that the man who raised the talk-show host is not her biological dad; author Kitty Kelley has professed to know the identity of Winfrey’s true father

‘This microbe is really a very hard worker.’

GARY HEBL, a Wisconsin state representative who submitted a bill to name Lactococcus lactis–the bacterium used to make a number of cheeses–the official state microbe

‘I don’t believe anyone will seriously think that you can impose peace.’

BENJAMIN NETANYAHU, downplaying the notion that the U.S. can restart an Israeli-Palestinian peace plan; Netanyahu argued that Israelis and Palestinians would have to negotiate a final settlement themselves

‘They’re better on his desk than on my chest.’

SHARON OSBOURNE, reality-television veteran, on her plan to remove her breast implants and give them to her husband Ozzy Osbourne to use as paperweights


Matthew Yglesias

Explaining why American class disparities are often insurmountable, on

“It’s great that America is the kind of country where a poor [immigrant] can come and, through hard work, obtain a higher standard of living than would have been possible in his home country … But … the reality … is that there’s relatively little social mobility in the United States, since when the rungs on the ladder are so far apart, it’s difficult to overtake the people who are closer to the top.”


Kerry Eleveld

On President Obama’s order that hospitals grant same-sex couples visitation rights, on

“This directive … will no doubt provide real people with profound and irreplaceable moments that might otherwise have been denied them in their darkest and most vulnerable hours … But … Obama has two glaring opportunities … this year: the Employment Non-Discrimination Act and ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ repeal. Passing either one of them would mark the single biggest advancement for LGBT equality in this nation’s history.”


Miguel Helft and Nick Bilton

Reacting in the New York Times to a video posted on technology blog Gizmodo that supposedly showed the as yet unreleased iPhone 4:

“For anyone who has ever lost a cell phone, remember this: it could be worse. You could be the person who left his phone in a bar in California. And it wasn’t just any phone; it was a supersecret version of the next iPhone … For the people at Apple, it must be like a bad version of the guy walks into a bar joke.”


Sources: New York Times; BBC; New York Post; New York Times; ABC; NBC

For daily sound bites, visit

More Must-Reads from TIME

Contact us at