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GOOD WEEK/ BAD WEEK

Jennifer Egan

HBO optioned her novel A Visit from the Goon Squad the day after it won the Pulitzer Prize.

Paul Reiser

The former Mad About You star’s eponymous NBC show was canceled after just two episodes.

CELEBRITY

Hermione Drops Out

Three points off Gryffindor! Harry Potter star Emma Watson announced she is leaving Brown University to pursue her studies elsewhere next fall. Reps denied reports that the actress was bullied out of Brown, claiming she simply wants to pursue a field not offered at the Ivy League institution.

TELEVISION

On a Bigger Boat

SNL comedian and digital-short mastermind Andy Samberg has been named host and “chief shark officer” of Discovery Channel’s 24th annual summer Shark Week, a weeklong series of shows about–do we really have to explain this? Last year, Shark Week attracted an audience of nearly 31 million people and zero sharks.

VERBATIM

‘Go get the facts before you start saying things about people.’

ROBERT DE NIRO, in an interview with Brian Williams, on Donald Trump’s loud and repeated requests–as part of his dubious nod toward a 2012 presidential run–for President Obama to produce his birth certificate

‘I like his acting, but … we’re not dealing with Albert Einstein.’

DONALD TRUMP, in response; days later, Trump declared, “I am very proud of myself,” after the document was released

STYLE

Long Live McQueen

This year’s Costume Institute exhibition at New York City’s Metropolitan Museum of Art will honor Alexander McQueen, the British fashion designer who took his own life in February 2010. “Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty,” on display May 4 to July 31, showcases about 100 idiosyncratic ensembles and 70 accessories from his 19-year career.

L.A.

N.Y.C.

STUNTS

The Five-Grand Fare

We can’t even get a taxi across town, but somehow two New Yorkers with too much time and money on their hands persuaded a cabbie to drive them to Los Angeles for $5,000. During the six-day journey–undertaken to prove wrong the father of one of the passengers–the trio made stops in the Grand Canyon and Las Vegas.

TELEVISION

Morning Reign

NBC’s Today marked 800 straight weeks as TV’s most watched morning show. That’s 15 years at No. 1, during which two hosts have left, a third and fourth hour have been added, and Kathie and Hoda have downed cases of wine.

SLIM PICKINGS

Carlos Slim Helú’s Museo Soumaya, which opened in late March to great fanfare, houses about 66,000 pieces from the Mexican billionaire’s personal collection. Several critics have tagged the Mexico City museum as more spectacle than substance. The latest in a line of lukewarm reviews came from the Los Angeles Times, which said, “Art is not the emphasis in this vanity museum.”

MUSIC

Beastie Boys Are Back

Our favorite middle-aged white rappers have returned with their eighth album, Hot Sauce Committee Part Two (formerly known as Hot Sauce Committee Part One–it’s a long story), accompanied by a 30-minute movie, Fight for Your Right Revisited. In the piece, Seth Rogen, Elijah Wood and Danny McBride play the 1980s Beasties as they drink and smash their way through New York City. There are more famous people here than in a Judd Apatow flick:

WILL FERRELL

JACK BLACK

JOHN C. REILLY

STANLEY TUCCI

SUSAN SARANDON

RASHIDA JONES

WILL ARNETT

ADAM SCOTT

RAINN WILSON

TED DANSON

ROMAN COPPOLA

STEVE BUSCEMI

AMY POEHLER

JASON SCHWARTZMAN

ALICIA SILVERSTONE

LAURA DERN

KIRSTEN DUNST

CHLOE SEVIGNY

MAYA RUDOLPH

DAVID CROSS

MARTIN STARR

CELEBRITY

Out of Flavor

Just four months after opening Flav’s Fried Chicken in Clinton, Iowa, Public Enemy MC and reality-TV star Flavor Flav has closed the eatery, blaming his business partner for mismanagement (“I went up inside there on April 2, and I found potato salad that expired on Feb. 28,” he told TMZ). Maybe Flav could go back to vintage clock making.

5 THINGS YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS WEEK

1. Roger Ebert’s feelings.

He finally won the New Yorker caption contest, after 107 tries.

2. The viability of “Weird Al” Yankovic’s act.

After much drama, he finally got the O.K. from Lady Gaga to parody one of her songs.

3. Getting lost when channel surfing for Keith Olbermann’s new show.

It’s going to have the exact same title as his old show.

4. Figuring out a way to shame Charlie Sheen.

One of his “goddesses” has done it for you, dumping him via text message.

5. Ever finding out if there’s life in space.

Federal funding for the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence has been scrapped.