Beyoncé’s greatest asset is that she is Beyoncé. Her greatest weakness, however, is that she is Beyoncé. When you’re Beyoncé, the world bows down to your every ***flawless move — even when you’re just trying to ride an elevator in privacy. (Unfamiliar with the feeling? Take a look in the mirror. Are you Beyoncé? Chances are, you’re probably not Beyoncé.)
As you may have already heard, a flaw was detected for the first time in the Carter-Knowles Dynasty since its inception well over a decade ago after someone (who is soon to be fired, deported and quite possibly executed) at NYC’s Standard Hotel leaked security footage of Solange Knowles allegedly attacking Jay Z in an elevator at a Met Gala after-party over the weekend.
And while the Internet continues to play detective to discover the root of the conflict (and/or just makes memes and Twitter hashtags), the real question remains: What were the other members of Destiny’s Child up to? Just trying to live, love and laugh — that’s what.
Did you know? Second lead vocalist of the group Kelly Rowland reportedly got married to her manager Tim Witherspoon on May 9. Yes, married! But unless you’re a truly devoted Rowland Stone, you probably didn’t know. Why? Because, like the majority of “Survivor,” King Bey’s gone and taken all the glory — even without intending to do so.
According to US Weekly, who just couldn’t resist dropping in the #SolangeGate scoop by the third sentence, the “Rose Colored Glasses” diva and her beau enjoyed their matrimonial kisses down low — in Costa Rica, to be exact — during a “quick, simple ceremony” with “only around 30 people” in attendance… including Beyoncé and Solange, of course. Congratulations to you, K. Row. We wish you many years of wedded bliss!
And then there’s Michelle Williams, our generation’s very own Mary Magdalene (in the upcoming revival of Jesus Christ Superstar, anyway) — or, as the darker corners of the Internet have come to recognize her, #PoorMichelle.
The Unexpected chanteuse was caught on video over the weekend, too — and it was one that didn’t involve elevators or roundhouse kicks to the face. ‘Twas the long-awaited video for her sizzling 2013 cut “Fire,” off of her forthcoming urban inspirational record, Journey to Freedom. No drama here — just an empowering, holy twerk-friendly anthem for the clubs.
And now, back to your regularly scheduled Beyoncé.
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