--- title: The Two Words to Say When Someone Comments on Your Hygiene description: We asked etiquette experts exactly what to say when someone offers you a mint. canonical: https://time.com/7274910/how-to-respond-hygiene-comments/ author: Angela Haupt article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2025-04-11T14:45:56.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-03-31T13:02:27.211Z article:section: Health og:title: The Two Words to Say When Someone Comments on Your Hygiene og:description: It's not "$%&* off." og:url: https://time.com/7274910/how-to-respond-hygiene-comments/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt694f47e89beb8ed1/6998c599a97fc0f3cba743d0/commenting-on-hygiene-time-to-talk.png?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 2400 og:image:height: 1350 og:image:alt: commenting on hygiene time to talk og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: The Two Words to Say When Someone Comments on Your Hygiene twitter:description: It's not "$%&* off." twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt694f47e89beb8ed1/6998c599a97fc0f3cba743d0/commenting-on-hygiene-time-to-talk.png?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # The Two Words to Say When Someone Comments on Your Hygiene > Sponsored content. 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Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement.  by [Angela Haupt](https://time.com/author/angela-haupt/)  ## Angela Haupt Apr 11, 2025 2:45 PM UTC  Photo-Illustration by Chloe Dowling for TIME (Source Images: vovashevchuk/Getty Images, African Geek via Canva.com)  by [Angela Haupt](https://time.com/author/angela-haupt/)  ## Angela Haupt Apr 11, 2025 2:45 PM UTC Hearing that you smell really stinks. If somebody wrinkles their nose and tells you it’s time for a shower, or subtly slides a mint your way, you might become defensive. Yet that’s not the best way to proceed. “The first thing you should do is thank them,” says Sara Jane Ho, an etiquette expert and host of Netflix’s [_Mind Your Manners_](https://www.netflix.com/title/81109061). _Gratitude_? For insulting your _hygiene_? That’s right. “Every time somebody tells you something, 50 people are thinking it but didn’t tell you,” Ho says. Hence the importance of uttering those two little words: thank you. Instead of stewing over the remark, reframe it as an opportunity for self-improvement, Ho advises. It’s essential not to take the feedback personally—though she acknowledges that’s easier said than done. “This is when you really see a difference between an insecure person and a secure person, because secure people don't take critical feedback personally to their core,” she says. Those who struggle with insecurity, meanwhile, tend to get defensive, sometimes lashing out at whoever brought up their hygiene. Building self-esteem, practicing self-compassion, and seeking professional advice can help. **Read More:** [_How to Respond to an Insult, According to Therapists_](https://time.com/6837151/therapists-respond-insults/) Like Ho, etiquette coach Akilah Siti Easter touts the power of saying “thank you” in response to hygiene feedback. If someone lets her know she might want to brush her teeth, “I actually tell them I appreciate that,” she says. “Thanks for not letting me embarrass myself in front of more people, you know?” Easter considers the fact that the person felt comfortable approaching her a sign of close friendship. “They’re trying to protect me as I’m engaging with other people,” she says. “So I say ‘thank you so much,’ and I'll probably go rinse my mouth.” Easter is teaching her daughter to accept and appreciate suggestions about hygiene, too. She often asks her: “Hey, does mommy’s breath stink?” Or, if the two just worked out together, she might say: “Mommy stinks, doesn’t she?” “I’m letting her know that I'm comfortable and aware of my body, so she feels she can reciprocate that,” Easter says. That way, her daughter will grow up feeling confident both initiating and receiving feedback. “People really don't know to be embarrassed by things until other people tell them to be embarrassed,” she says. “And sometimes, you don't have to be embarrassed.” _Wondering what to say in a tricky social situation? 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