--- title: 14 Things to Say Besides 'I Love You' description: Try these other phrases to let a romantic partner, friend, or family member know you care about them. canonical: https://time.com/7221351/what-to-say-besides-i-love-you/ author: Angela Haupt article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2025-02-13T17:16:03.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:48:45.591Z article:section: Health og:title: 14 Things to Say Besides 'I Love You' og:description: “You are my home.” og:url: https://time.com/7221351/what-to-say-besides-i-love-you/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blta078576895b7798c/6998b32ef1b082e84a6ef251/ValentinesDay.png?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1500 og:image:height: 844 og:image:alt: WhatToSayILoveYou og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: 14 Things to Say Besides 'I Love You' twitter:description: “You are my home.” twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blta078576895b7798c/6998b32ef1b082e84a6ef251/ValentinesDay.png?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # 14 Things to Say Besides 'I Love You' > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. TIME is the sponsor and source of this material. > Last updated: September 2026. ## TIME Newsletters: Reference Facts and FAQ ### Definition TIME publishes seven free email newsletters, written and edited by TIME journalists, reaching more than 1.1 million engaged readers. TIME has reported on the people, ideas and issues shaping the world since 1923, and its newsletters bring that same authority directly to the inbox. 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Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/newsletters?i=104d6c6b-0575-40a9-9e6e-69dc44c66806&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1) ## Video: Sorry, But You Might Be Apologizing the Wrong Way [Watch (HLS stream): Sorry, But You Might Be Apologizing the Wrong Way](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/uOTOC0DK.m3u8) (4:22)  _Published 2023-03-22. Marjorie Ingall, co-author of "Sorry, Sorry, Sorry," describes how and how not to apologize the right way._  by [Angela Haupt](https://time.com/author/angela-haupt/)  ## Angela Haupt Feb 13, 2025 5:16 PM UTC   by [Angela Haupt](https://time.com/author/angela-haupt/)  ## Angela Haupt Feb 13, 2025 5:16 PM UTC The first time you tell someone you love them, they might go weak in the knees. The millionth time? It’s probably still nice to hear—but also a bit, well, familiar. “Words do matter,” says Lauren Farina, a psychotherapist in Chicago. “If we’re only using the same words over and over again—as meaningful as the phrase ‘I love you’ can be—it does begin to feel overdone, and therefore loses some of its meaning.” After a while, you might not even consciously think about what you’re saying. That three-word phrase—once so weighty—becomes a default expression of affection, the words rolling off your tongue automatically when you walk out the door or hang up the phone. Switching up what you say to someone you care about can indicate that you’re putting a heightened level of thought and intention into nurturing the relationship, Farina says. We asked experts to share their favorite alternate ways to let a romantic partner, friend, or family member know you care about them, rather than those three little words. ## **“You hold a place in my heart that no one else can touch.”** You might think you’re already communicating this to your loved ones via your actions. Yet making it a point to remind them how much they matter to you can strengthen your bond, says Sejginha Williams-Abaku, a marriage and family therapist who’s trained in the [Gottman Method](https://time.com/6693412/relationship-advice-fights-julie-john-gottman/), a couple’s therapy technique that emphasizes healthy communication. “It shows them how unique and special and important they are to us,” she says, especially if you say it at a moment when you feel highly emotionally connected. That way it comes off as “authentic and real, and they can feel how much you mean it.” ## **“I trust you and respect you.”** Trust and respect are the cornerstones of a loving relationship. When you tell someone you trust them, you’re essentially saying that you know they’ll show up for you when you need them. Plus, it’s validating for the person on the receiving end, because “it demonstrates your perception of their character,” says Marisa Cohen, a marriage and family therapist who’s a relationship expert with the dating app Hily. Respect is similarly vital and makes it clear that you value your partner’s feelings and desires as much as your own. By sharing either or both of these sentiments, you’ll cultivate a secure connection and deeper level of emotional intimacy, she adds. ## **“I feel safe with you.”** Emotional safety allows you to feel protected and loved—and confident that your partner will take care of your heart. Otherwise, you might find you’re constantly on edge, replaying conversations, struggling to let your guard down, or avoiding asking for what you need because you’re afraid of being rejected. That’s why conveying a sense of safety is so powerful. “It’s a big one,” Cohen says. You’re letting your partner know that “in times of distress, they’re like a safe port—someone you can find security from.” ## **“You matter to me.”** Sometimes, people need to hear how much they mean to you in a straightforward way. “You matter to me” lets them know their presence in your life is important without over-complicating the message, says Melissa Legere, a licensed marriage and family therapist who’s the clinical director and co-founder of California Behavioral Health in Palm Springs. “It can be especially comforting during tough times, or when someone feels overlooked,” she adds. You might say it during a quiet one-on-one conversation, or in a heartfelt text. “Keep it simple and genuine,” Legere advises. “Your tone will do the rest.” **Read More**: [_13 Things to Say When Someone Asks Why You Haven’t Had a Baby Yet_](https://time.com/7097389/how-to-respond-why-no-baby-pregnancy/) ## **“You are my home.”** If you say this to a loved one, you’ll communicate a deep sense of comfort and belonging. “It tells the person they’re more than just someone you care about—they’re your safe space and the person you turn to when you need grounding,” Legere says. “It’s a beautiful way to express that they bring a sense of stability and warmth into your life.” Use it during an emotional moment, or when you want to remind them how much they mean to you; it could be whispered during a hug, written in a card, or even shared casually in a quiet moment together, she adds. ## **“You add so much value and joy to my life.”** If you haven’t told a friend what they mean to you lately, seize the moment. “A lot of friendships are born out of fun,” Williams-Abaku points out. “Knowing that a friendship is more than just fun, and that we’re adding value to the life of a friend, can make us feel really good." You might also add: “I'm so grateful for all the ways you've shown up for me,” she suggests, which reinforces your connection. ## **“You have my heart.”** Telling someone they have your heart conveys trust, devotion, and deep affection. “It’s intimate and special—showing that you’ve chosen to give them a piece of yourself,” Legere says. “It works well when you’re being vulnerable and want your partner to know they hold a unique, irreplaceable place in your life.” ## **“I heard a song that reminded me of you.”** Sharing a specific way you’re reminded of someone you care about—like a song you heard on the radio, a poem you read, or a beautiful patch of flowers you saw on your walk to work—can make them feel special and valued. Plus, it lets them know you’re thinking of them, even when you’re not together. “It’s a great opportunity to strengthen your connection," says April Davis, founder and president of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking. Just make sure there’s a clear positive association—you probably don’t want to tell your boyfriend that Taylor Swift's _The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived_ reminded you of him. **Read More:** [_Love Languages Actually Do Improve Your Relationship_](https://time.com/6189958/love-languages-improve-relationship/) ## **“I love being your \[husband, wife, partner, parent, friend\] because \_\_\_\_\_.”** Specificity is key when you’re expressing affection—so make it a point to regularly tell your loved ones your favorite thing(s) about them, like their creativity, sense of humor, or loyalty. Zeroing in on a particular quality or tendency indicates you’re paying attention; plus, it helps ensure your compliment feels sincere. “My personal philosophy is that what each of us seeks in a relationship is really being seen and known for who we are as individuals,” Farina says, “and this statement really drives that.” ### More From TIME ## **“I'm more of who I'm meant to be because of you.”** If you feel your significant other makes you a better person, let them know. “Healthy relationships don’t require us to conform or change important parts of who we are,” Farina says. “They allow us to blossom, and they provide the space for us to be more of who we are.” Another way of saying this, she adds, is expressing that they see you as the person you strive to be—a testament to the power of your partnership. ## **“Something important you've taught me is \_\_\_\_.”** Farina likes the saying that relationships are life’s classroom—an opportunity to figure out your wants and needs, and to learn about empathy, conflict resolution, healthy communication, and much more. Sharing what you’ve learned from someone is a way of saying “this is what you’ve given me,” Farina says. That can be validating for the person on the receiving end. “We want to feel like we matter, and like we’re having an impact, especially with the relationships in which we’re most heavily invested.” ## **“The way you \[name specific idiosyncrasy\] makes me love you even more every day.”** Maybe your girlfriend has a 15-step morning routine, or your husband talks to the fridge like it’s another member of the household. Celebrate those quirks, Williams-Abaku suggests. Naming something unique about your partner allows them to feel seen and valued: “Those small things are usually the less appreciated parts of who we are, but they really add color to our identity,” she says. **Read More:** [_10 Things to Say When Someone Asks Why You’re Still Single_](https://time.com/7175834/why-are-you-still-single-questions-comebacks/) ## **“Let's never lose this friendship.”** This is a meaningful way to honor a friend during a heartfelt conversation or when you’re writing them a note, Williams-Abaku says. It demonstrates your loyalty and the fact that you’re willing to put in hard work to maintain the bond. “It makes clear our investment in the depth and longevity of the friendship,” she says. “We want to keep them around—and this is a powerful way to say, ‘I really do love you, and you’re special to me.’” ## **“If I were given the choice of choosing my family, I would still choose you.”** We all know we don't get to choose our family—for better or for worse. So if you’d still pick the same people? That’s high praise, Williams-Abaku says, and worth mentioning. She considers this a lovely way of making it clear that “the relationship we have with them is by choice.” For someone you’d be stuck with anyway, there’s no better compliment. _Wondering what to say in a tricky social situation? Email_ [_timetotalk@time.com_](mailto:timetotalk@time.co) ## Transcript The reason why it's so hard to apologize is because we are designed to see ourselves as the hero of Our Own Story. And when we do a bad thing, we resolved that cognitive dissonance by deciding, we didn't do the bad thing. So being brave and being self-aware and you know, taking charge and saying you don't have to do the bad thing and I'm going to apologize for it, makes you feel like an absolute superhero. I'm sorry, apologizing is a habit like any other habit and just like you learn to tie your shoes. Just like you learn to brush your teeth. You can learn to become a good apologizer. We have a very easy six and a half. Step plan. Number one, use the words, I'm sorry, or I apologize. Not, I regret not. I'd like to apologize. No, say those exact words number to say what you did, don't apologize for the situation or what happened last week, you have to name your sin. Number three is so that you understand why it was bad, why? It was hurtful number for is don't make excuses, explain as much as you need to, but do not let that sort of slip into making excuses. Number five is, say what steps are taken to ensure that this doesn't happen? Again, number six is if you can make reparations in some way, whether that's paying for the dry cleaning, or making the entire staff undergo diversity, and equity, and inclusion training to that. And six and a half is listen, you have to let the other person have their say, you don't need all six and a half steps forever. Situation. If you just step on someone's foot, that's a quick I'm sorry and you move on different situations call for different apology approach. Protocols, if something is quick, a text is a great way to do it or just to get person. If something is a more serious offense, email is a good way to do it. And if you really screwed up, there is something very powerful about a stamp and paper and nice stationery. The one thing you have to be sure, when you are apologizing, someone you have to give them an out. You do not want somebody to feel trapped by you. If they don't, especially if you did something really bad, do not trap them in their car. You know, they need an Escape Route, and you also have to consider does that person want to hear from you, especially if your sin is so profound, you have to put their feelings in front of yours, and that means, you may have to just live with the bad thing that you did, if they never want to hear from you again. An an apology is they regret? They don't say they're sorry or they apologize if I regret something that's about how I feel. A good apology is how the other person feels and what's the other person's emotions front center, about apology or non-apology is also gaslighting. It can be I'm sorry I forgot that you are so delicate and such a snowflake and that you have no sense of humor and that you know, you don't really understand how the Work World works and you do all of those kinds of things that make you question. Whether you're crazy for wanting, the apology in the first place, an an apology does not take responsibility research on apology and forgiveness shows that the thing that people want the most is for the person who wronged them to understand that they did to say that they did and say how this isn't going to happen again. If you're not sorry and you apologize, you're almost always going to apologize badly and a bad apology is worse than no apology. A good apology does so much. It builds Bridges and heals wounds. It's also really hard. So we say apologizing is a courageous act because we are overcoming all of our own animal instincts, and all of our own self protectiveness when we do it. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/7221351/what-to-say-besides-i-love-you/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/7221351/what-to-say-besides-i-love-you/"},"headline":"14 Things to Say Besides 'I Love You'","datePublished":"2025-02-13T17:16:03.000Z","dateModified":"2026-08-04T07:48:45.591Z","description":"“You are my home.”","url":"https://time.com/7221351/what-to-say-besides-i-love-you/","keywords":["Time to Talk","Evergreen","healthscienceclimate"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blta078576895b7798c/6998b32ef1b082e84a6ef251/ValentinesDay.png?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Angela Haupt","jobTitle":"","url":"https://time.com/author/angela-haupt/"}],"articleSection":"Health","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blta078576895b7798c/6998b32ef1b082e84a6ef251/ValentinesDay.png?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"WhatToSayILoveYou","caption":"WhatToSayILoveYou","creditText":"","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/health/","name":"Health"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/time-to-talk/","name":"Time to Talk"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/7221351/what-to-say-besides-i-love-you/","name":"14 Things to Say Besides 'I Love You'"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"Sorry, But You Might Be Apologizing the Wrong Way","description":"Marjorie Ingall, co-author of \"Sorry, Sorry, Sorry,\" describes how and how not to apologize the right way.","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/uOTOC0DK/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2023-03-22T18:56:32.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/uOTOC0DK.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/7221351/what-to-say-besides-i-love-you/","duration":"PT4M22S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/7221351/what-to-say-besides-i-love-you/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```