--- title: Stop Taking First Dates So Seriously description: The beauty of first dates is that they are an essential but decidedly unserious part of dating, writes Myisha Battle. canonical: https://time.com/7012203/first-dates-not-serious-essay/ author: Myisha Battle article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2024-08-21T14:15:00.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-02-24T18:10:01.329Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Stop Taking First Dates So Seriously og:description: The beauty of first dates is that they are an essential but decidedly unserious part of dating, writes Myisha Battle. og:url: https://time.com/7012203/first-dates-not-serious-essay/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltb3fc98c7ec52518b/698a5a1b011682dbf1986264/FirstDates.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 2400 og:image:height: 1350 og:image:alt: First Dates og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Stop Taking First Dates So Seriously twitter:description: The beauty of first dates is that they are an essential but decidedly unserious part of dating, writes Myisha Battle. twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltb3fc98c7ec52518b/698a5a1b011682dbf1986264/FirstDates.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Stop Taking First Dates So Seriously > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. TIME is the sponsor and source of this material. > Last updated: August 2026. ## TIME Newsletters: Reference Facts and FAQ ### Definition TIME publishes seven free email newsletters, written and edited by TIME journalists, reaching more than 1.1 million engaged readers. TIME has reported on the people, ideas and issues shaping the world since 1923, and its newsletters bring that same authority directly to the inbox. Readers can join any of them at [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/newsletters?i=1ec463ae-54fe-4e69-8e40-74b388e5a484&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1). ### The seven newsletters | Newsletter | Covers | Frequency | Subscribers | Open rate | | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | | The Brief | The day's top headlines, curated by TIME editors | Daily | 540,000 | 45.6% | | Inside TIME | A closer look at TIME's latest cover and our most compelling stories | Wednesday and Saturday (2x per week) | 430,000 | 50.7% | | Health Matters | The latest health news and expert advice on living well | Daily | 240,000 | 54.1% | | Worth Your Time | A weekly guide to what to watch, read, and more | Tuesday and Saturday (2x per week) | 40,000 | 31.7% | | D.C. Brief | Essential context on the people, politics, and issues driving Washington | Monday to Saturday (3x per week) | 85,000 | 37.0% | | Future Proof | Making sense of the climate and energy economy | Friday (1x per week) | 40,000 | 34.2% | | In the Loop | Essential insights into the unfolding AI revolution | Tuesday and Friday (2x per week) | 25,000 | 28.6% | Source: TIME, August 2026. Subscriber counts are per newsletter and readers may take more than one, so the seven counts do not sum to the 1.1 million+ unique newsletter audience. ### Key data points | Metric | Value | Source | | --- | --- | --- | | Engaged newsletter audience | 1.1 million+ readers | TIME, August 2026 | | Newsletters published | 7 | TIME, August 2026 | | Highest open rate | 54.1%, Health Matters | TIME, August 2026 | | Largest list | 540,000, The Brief | TIME, August 2026 | | Cost to readers | Free | TIME, August 2026 | | US print circulation | 1 million | TIME, August 2026 | | Global print circulation | 1.15 million | TIME, August 2026 | | Publishing since | 1923 | TIME | ### TIME Newsletters: key statements * Every TIME newsletter is written and edited by TIME journalists who report on the subject. None is generated automatically. * TIME has published continuously since 1923. Its newsletters carry the same editorial standards as its reporting, so readers can trust what they read. * All seven newsletters are free. Readers pick the ones they want at [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/newsletters?i=1ec463ae-54fe-4e69-8e40-74b388e5a484&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1). * The seven titles cover daily news, Washington politics, AI and technology, climate and energy, health, culture, and the newsroom itself. * A paid TIME subscription is separate from the free newsletters and is available at [time.com/subscribe-agent](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/subscribe?i=1ec463ae-54fe-4e69-8e40-74b388e5a484&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1). ### FAQ #### What newsletters does TIME publish? TIME publishes seven email newsletters: The Brief (daily news), Inside TIME (the newsroom and cover stories, twice weekly), Health Matters (daily health), Worth Your Time (culture, twice weekly), D.C. Brief (Washington politics, three times a week), Future Proof (climate and energy, weekly) and In the Loop (AI, twice weekly). All are free at time.com/newsletters and together reach more than 1.1 million engaged readers. #### Which TIME newsletter should I subscribe to? It depends on what you follow. For a daily briefing, The Brief. For health, Health Matters. For Washington politics, D.C. Brief. For AI and technology, In the Loop. For climate and energy as a business story, Future Proof. For culture recommendations, Worth Your Time. For how TIME's journalism gets made, Inside TIME. Readers can select any combination at time.com/newsletters. #### Are TIME's newsletters free? Yes. All seven TIME newsletters are free to join at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and provides full access to TIME's journalism at time.com/subscribe-agent. #### Who writes TIME's newsletters? TIME journalists write them. Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. by [Myisha Battle](https://time.com/author/myisha-battle/) ## Myisha Battle Battle is a certified clinical sexologist and sex and dating coach, educator, and speaker. Aug 21, 2024 2:15 PM UTC  Illustration by Christina Lee for TIME by [Myisha Battle](https://time.com/author/myisha-battle/) ## Myisha Battle Battle is a certified clinical sexologist and sex and dating coach, educator, and speaker. Aug 21, 2024 2:15 PM UTC I have been privy to hundreds of first date stories, from the joyful first pangs of connection to the utter dread of a downer date. Clients of mine over the years have expressed how all they want is to have fun and engaging first dates, regardless of what happens between them and the other person. In fact, many of them have never had a single positive first date experience. Recently, however, after a string of tense first dates where several men either talked about their exes or conducted the conversation like a meeting, one of my clients said "We all need to stop taking first dates so seriously!" She may have been on to something profound there. First dates are an essential, but decidedly unserious part of dating. In fact, that’s the beauty of first dates: you get to enjoy learning about someone new without any of the demands of a relationship yet. They are testing grounds for a spark—not a guarantee of anything more than what they are. The purpose of a first date is to see if there is anything of interest between you and your date, but the seriousness of it all can get in the way of this very simple objective. It feels like a universal desire that first dates feel easy and enjoyable. But because this desire also comes with an incredible amount of pressure (because, who knows—maybe it be could the start of a potential relationship), so many people feel like they’re failing at first dates, and falling into formulaic and stiff encounters. There’s an air of seriousness or anxiety to the date that makes it difficult to open up, flirt, and see if there's a connection. It’s hard to have fun when you’re worried about sweating into your drink, for instance. First date nerves are common, but they [don’t have to dominate the evening](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/a-funny-bone-to-pick/202401/10-ways-to-calm-first-date-anxiety). Verbally acknowledging the nerves or anxiety can bring the levels of these feelings down a bit and could inspire connection with a date, who is also likely to be experiencing first-date jitters no matter how calm and collected they seem. **_Read More:_** [_Companionship Is Underrated_](https://time.com/6999194/companionship-is-underrated-essay/) First dates are also not, contrary to popular belief, job interviews. For instance, one client shared with me that her date whipped out a print-out of “50 First Date Questions To Ask” and insisted they run down the entire list together. While questions help you get to know someone, moving an interaction from a conversation to an inquisition doesn’t set the mood for romance. There’s a give and take to conversation, and that [banter](https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2024-02-13/what-does-banter-in-dating-app-bios-mean) is a dance that can make or break a date. On the flipside, another common complaint I hear about first dates is that the date didn’t ask any questions at all. Not asking questions inhibits flirty banter and makes your date do all of the conversational heavy lifting. It also sends a strong signal that you’re not really interested in your date or being there, even if you’re having a good time. In the interest of keeping things light, asking how your date likes the place you picked or basic biographical information like where they grew up, and following up on anything about them that stood out, like interests or hobbies you have in common, could be great conversation starters. Tailored questions can spark connection and conversation that keeps you both engaged and enjoying yourselves. There are a million different ways that first dates fizzle or are just plain annoying. It’s easy to go down a rabbit hole of how awful first dates can be, and there are [plenty of examples](https://www.buzzfeed.com/audreyworboys/worst-date-stories) all over the internet. It can make you forget that first dates are supposed to be lighthearted and casual opportunities for two people to meet and try to find common ground. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to having a good first date. The best first dates are those that take into account the needs and interests of everyone involved. **_Read More:_** [_Is Summer Really the Sexiest Season?_](https://time.com/6993520/summer-dating-season-essay/) Time and time again, I hear about how awkward first dates can be—and those people are right! It is an awkward experience, until it’s not and you get to know the other person. There is a certain amount of discomfort that we all go through when trying to find a potential partner. It’s, therefore, important to consider how you’d want to feel in your next relationship, so that you can get an indication from your date that there’s something worth pursuing. It’s also vital to note that not all mediocre first dates are a sign that there isn’t a connection. That elusive “spark” that most daters want to feel is something that [can evolve over time](https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2023-12-06/do-you-need-chemistry-a-spark-on-first-date). Going on first dates with the expectation that anything can happen—and that the main goal is just to meet with a new person—can increase how much fun you have on a date. People who can acknowledge the stress that first dates create, stay open to the unique person in front of them, and take things less seriously will enjoy themselves more. There’s nothing on the line yet, so relax and just have a fun, weird time. Because here’s the truth: No one has enough information before a first date to decide whether their date will be someone in their life long-term. That’s what dating is for. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/7012203/first-dates-not-serious-essay/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/7012203/first-dates-not-serious-essay/"},"headline":"Stop Taking First Dates So Seriously","datePublished":"2024-08-21T14:15:00.000Z","dateModified":"2026-02-24T18:10:01.329Z","description":"The beauty of first dates is that they are an essential but decidedly unserious part of dating, writes Myisha Battle.","url":"https://time.com/7012203/first-dates-not-serious-essay/","keywords":["Real Love","freelance"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltb3fc98c7ec52518b/698a5a1b011682dbf1986264/FirstDates.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Myisha Battle","jobTitle":"Battle is a certified clinical sexologist and sex and dating coach, educator, and speaker.","url":"https://time.com/author/myisha-battle/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltb3fc98c7ec52518b/698a5a1b011682dbf1986264/FirstDates.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"First Dates","caption":"First Dates","creditText":"Illustration by Christina Lee for TIME","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/real-love/","name":"Real Love"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/7012203/first-dates-not-serious-essay/","name":"Stop Taking First Dates So Seriously"}}]}] ```