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title: Eric Nam on Atlanta Shootings and Anti-Asian Racism in U.S.
description: Korean-American singer-songwriter Eric Nam writes about the March 16 shootings in his hometown and the need to fight anti-Asian racism now.
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![](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt58c0808fc701f30d/698a180b929fad6e6bbf7315/atlanta-shooting-vigil.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9)


# If You're Surprised by the Anti-Asian Violence in Atlanta, You Haven't Been Listening. It's Time to Hear Our Voices

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<!-- video src="https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/9Sgri6BR.m3u8" -->
## Video: Life as an Asian-American Doctor Fighting Coronavirus: I'm 'Both Celebrated and Villainized'

[Watch (HLS stream): Life as an Asian-American Doctor Fighting Coronavirus: I'm 'Both Celebrated and Villainized'](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/9Sgri6BR.m3u8) (4:49)

![Life as an Asian-American Doctor Fighting Coronavirus: I'm 'Both Celebrated and Villainized'](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/9Sgri6BR/poster.jpg?width=720)

_Published 2020-04-08. Dr. Chen Fu, a hospitalist at NYU Langone Medical Center, reflects on his experience as an Asian-American doctor on the front lines of the coronavirus pandemic._


![Eric Nam](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltf9cc3bb16bc25959/698a182d0116825d55980713/EricNam6-Credit_-CJ-ENM.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1:1)

by 

[Eric Nam](https://time.com/author/eric-nam/)


![Eric Nam](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltf9cc3bb16bc25959/698a182d0116825d55980713/EricNam6-Credit_-CJ-ENM.jpg?branch=production&width=96&quality=75&auto=webp)

## Eric Nam


Updated: Dec 12, 2023 3:55 PM UTCPublished: Mar 19, 2021 7:19 PM UTC

![Activists demonstrate outside Gold Spa following Tuesday night's shooting, in Atlanta, Ga., on March 18, 2021.](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt58c0808fc701f30d/698a180b929fad6e6bbf7315/atlanta-shooting-vigil.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=3:2)

Activists demonstrate outside Gold Spa following Tuesday night's shooting, in Atlanta, Ga., on March 18, 2021.

Activists demonstrate outside Gold Spa following Tuesday night's shooting, in Atlanta, Ga., on March 18, 2021. Megan Varner—Getty Images

![Eric Nam](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltf9cc3bb16bc25959/698a182d0116825d55980713/EricNam6-Credit_-CJ-ENM.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1:1)

by 

[Eric Nam](https://time.com/author/eric-nam/)


![Eric Nam](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltf9cc3bb16bc25959/698a182d0116825d55980713/EricNam6-Credit_-CJ-ENM.jpg?branch=production&width=96&quality=75&auto=webp)

## Eric Nam


Updated: Dec 12, 2023 3:55 PM UTCPublished: Mar 19, 2021 7:19 PM UTC

On March 16, a domestic terrorist [tragically killed eight people—six of them Asian women](https://time.com/5947723/atlanta-shootings-anti-asian-violence-america/). While prosecutors and law enforcement still debate whether to designate the murders as [hate crimes](https://time.com/5947626/atlanta-shooting-hate-crime-legal-explanation/), millions of Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders (AAPI), including myself, are left feeling abandoned and overwhelmed with memories of our past, the realities of our present and fears for our collective future in a country we love.

The news quite literally hit home for me—I was born and raised in Atlanta and some of the murders took place near my old stomping grounds. I was filled with shock, grief, frustration and then anger. As [attacks on AAPIs have spiked](https://time.com/5938482/asian-american-attacks/) over the last 12 months, the calls for help and the warning signs from our community have felt ignored—as if the stories were about people living on the other side of the world, not about your neighbors in America.

For many, the AAPI experience is one fraught with anxiety, trauma and identity crises. A complicated history with an American culture built on white supremacy and systemic racism is further complicated by a diverse community that, itself, is not a monolith. As “perpetual foreigners” and subjects of the [model minority myth](https://time.com/5859206/anti-asian-racism-america/), Asians are invited but not fully integrated, or just largely ignored under the guise of being “O.K.” in culture and politics. As AAPIs we have been excluded, interned, vilified, emasculated, fetishized and murdered.

For some time, I thought that this uncomfortable position we are in was our own doing. We wanted to be seen as American. We wanted to be accepted and celebrated just like everyone else. We wanted to fit in. And yet—our hair was different, our homes didn’t speak English, and because we were not of the majority, many of us felt that we should just be thankful. It wasn’t _their_ fault. _We_ should have easier names. _We_ shouldn’t speak in our parents’ languages. _We_ shouldn’t bring our snacks to school, because your teacher will ask to try it, feign disgust and throw it away in front of your laughing peers, as happened to me once. “Yan Yan in the can can,” she said to me. 

A submission to, and eventual complicity with racism normalized a dynamic that should not exist. To grow up believing we needed to be O.K. with racism in order to have a seat at the table is not O.K.. To internalize racism at such a young age, in retrospect, warped my sense of normality. As a victim of a hit-and-run incident as a young teenager, I actually questioned if my mom was in the wrong when the driver got out of his car, slammed his fists on our window and screamed at my mother, “You dumbass motherf-cking ch-nk!” I’m Korean, by the way.

Can you imagine wanting to apologize to your abuser? This is how confusing and convoluted growing up AAPI can be. 

To suggest the murders of Daoyou Feng (44), Delaina Ashley Yaun Gonzalez (33), Suncha Kim (69), Hyun Jung Grant (51), Soon Chung Park (74), Xiaojie Tan (49), Paul Andre Michels (54) and Yong Ae Yue (63) were not racially motivated is completely naive and racist in itself. To dehumanize the lives of eight individuals because someone was, as the sheriff’s department spokesman put it, “having a bad day” or to blame their actions on “sex addiction” is the height of white privilege and reveals the depth of the over-sexualization—and objectification—of an entire race’s gender. Why are women of our community the outlet for and victims of your sexual addiction? How dare you.

Everything about this is tragic and wrong. But this is the way it’s been and continues to be. 

Several still ask, “Why haven’t you said anything?” Let’s be very clear: we have always been pleading for your help, perhaps more than ever over the past year. You did not listen. You did not hear us. Please hear us now because being silent now is being complicit. 

[So what can we do?](https://time.com/5947603/how-to-help-fight-anti-asian-violence/) All mass change starts small—and in this case, it means empowering and supporting our local AAPI communities and businesses; it means reevaluating the parameters and punishments for “hate crime”; it means everyone committing to the grand experiment of a United States whose own face must evolve with its rapidly changing citizenry’s. 

This is in no way a comprehensive list and it will be ever-changing, but it’s a place to start. 

An attack on one of us is an attack on all of us, but the good news is change can also start with one of us. Will it be you? Whether you live in Atlanta or in any city of this country, empower yourself by understanding our experience, buying from our local communities, and reinforcing our commitment to restorative justice that is not just a correction of inequality but an opportunity to grow opportunities for more. 

We are hurt, exhausted, full of sorrow and angry—rightfully so. But we must continue to persevere. We must all continue to be active in creating the change that we so badly want and need for ourselves and our future generations.


## Transcript

Hello. Good morning or good evening. It is currently late at night and I am headed in to work right now. It's usually rush hour in New York right now. 830 in Grand Central Station on a monday. I'm walking in now from the place that I sleep to the place that I live. Here we go. Three weeks ago, I started out with a census of maybe five COVID patients, five or so patients of respiratory distress. Last I checked, we now have over 350 patients with COVID in the hospital. The first thing that my parents told me when all of this started was don't be a hero, but I know you're not going to listen to me.

What's your. No, no, not not. Not yet. Are you guys are you guys eating food right now? Yeah, I saw some of that. Oh, really? Oh, that looks really good, actually. Thank you for sending the masks, Mom. Yeah. Yeah, we love to. I'm proud to see you. Meantime, I'm worried about. I really wasn't worried when I talked to you. You cough, cough, cough make me more worried. I couldn't sleep. Yeah. You know, Dad, the first time you ever told me that you were proud of me was when I got into med school and by the way. Yes. When you went to med school? Yes, I do feel proud. But what you're doing right now is it's not at all like a proud, but I feel are heroic.

That's what it is. You know, people like the heartbeat of New York City. It's just been a wild ride. I just came from one emergency and I'm about to head to another. It's not stopping. It's who I am right now. And I haven't eaten anything yet. So hopefully sometime I'll be able to find the time to grab some food and hopefully these patients just do better. Something that's been kind of interesting is this experience of being an Asian American doctor in the midst of all of this, it seems it's really, really strange to me being both celebrated and televised at 7 p.m. every night I sit and listen as people across the city cheer for health care workers.

And at the same time, I read on the news how how people of my of my ilk are just experiencing conditions that they haven't experienced in modern history. My mom says that she can't sleep unless she hears from me every night nowadays, which I totally understand. But the truth of the matter is I'm really worried about them. My mom's car got broken into her windshield, got smashed, nothing was taken but my mother has been talking around with a lot of her Asian-American friends, and the same thing has been happening to a lot of them. The other day, I also kind of got stopped in the subway. One of the bystanders that was started started screaming racial slurs at me.

I was dressed up in whole scrubs, and it was pretty clear that I was on my way to the hospital. And luckily somebody stepped in and just sort of pushed him away and said, no, you can't do this. And I've never seen so many ambulances coming through. One thing that really keeps me going is just kindness. People that reach out to people that I knew, many of the people that that let me know that they're there. It's the only thing that really keeps me going on. This thing.

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