Our favorite Pawnee City Councilwoman is with child, which means that Indiana may soon have their very own Chelsea Clinton to fawn over. Here’s what a baby Knope-Wyatt can expect in their childhood:
1) Boundless Optimism: A skinned knee will be an “opportunity to explore inside your leg!” and a lost toy will be a “treasure hunt!”
2) Powerful Role Models: If Baby Knope-Wyatt is a girl, she’ll have Hillary Clinton watching over her instead of a fairy godmother.
3) Every Milestone Would Become a Holiday: Like Toilet Trained Day, First Bike Ride Day, Santa Revelation Day, Acne Day, First Period Day, “I Hate You, Mom” Day.
4) Waffles for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner: Because of all the vitamins, obviously.
5) Aunt Overload: Aunt Ann will take Baby Knope-Wyatt shopping, Aunt April will always win the staring contests.
6) Lots of Sex Talks:
- What Wildfire Smoke Does to the Human Body
- Prince Harry Breaks Royal Convention to Testify in Court
- Teens Are Taking Wegovy for Weight Loss
- Elliot Page: Embracing My Trans Identity Saved Me
- How a Texas High Jumper Has Earned Nearly $1 Million
- What the Debt Ceiling Deal Means for Student Loan Borrowers
- How Past Lives Combines Memoir and Artistry
- 7 Ways to Get Better at Small Talk
