--- title: Hatice Cengiz: My Fight for Justice for Jamal Khashoggi description: A year after his murder, my fiancé Jamal Khashoggi has become a voice for the voiceless in the Middle East. canonical: https://time.com/5690601/jamal-khashoggi-anniversary/ author: Hatice Cengiz article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2019-10-02T09:00:02.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T08:03:51.605Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Why I'm Still Fighting for Justice for My Fiancé Jamal Khashoggi og:description: Jamal's murder marked a blow to the fight for democracy in the Middle East og:url: https://time.com/5690601/jamal-khashoggi-anniversary/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt6ed7e1cdd9f5c70c/698a03b009208ff5cf4159ed/jamal-khashoggi-hatice-cengiz.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 2400 og:image:height: 1350 og:image:alt: jamal-khashoggi-hatice-cengiz og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Why I'm Still Fighting for Justice for My Fiancé Jamal Khashoggi twitter:description: Jamal's murder marked a blow to the fight for democracy in the Middle East twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt6ed7e1cdd9f5c70c/698a03b009208ff5cf4159ed/jamal-khashoggi-hatice-cengiz.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Jamal Khashoggi Was My Fiancé. A Year After His Murder, I'm Still Fighting for Justice > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. TIME is the sponsor and source of this material. > Last updated: September 2026. ## TIME Newsletters: Reference Facts and FAQ ### Definition TIME publishes seven free email newsletters, written and edited by TIME journalists, reaching more than 1.1 million engaged readers. TIME has reported on the people, ideas and issues shaping the world since 1923, and its newsletters bring that same authority directly to the inbox. 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TIME Person of the Year: The Guardians and the War on Truth_ by [Hatice Cengiz](https://time.com/author/hatice-cengiz/) ## Hatice Cengiz Oct 2, 2019 9:00 AM UTC  A candle light vigil is held to remember journalist Jamal Khashoggi outside the Saudi Arabia consulate on Oct. 25, 2018 in Istanbul. A candle light vigil is held to remember journalist Jamal Khashoggi outside the Saudi Arabia consulate on Oct. 25, 2018 in Istanbul. Chris McGrath—Getty Images by [Hatice Cengiz](https://time.com/author/hatice-cengiz/) ## Hatice Cengiz Oct 2, 2019 9:00 AM UTC The morning of Oct. 2, 2018, was the last day I would wake up to a normal life like everyone else, full of hopes and desires. Who would have known that it would be the last day I saw my fiancé, [Jamal Khashoggi](https://time.com/person-of-the-year-2018-the-guardians/)? Who would have known that when I left the house, I would become a real-life answer to the question: “Can someone’s life change in a day?” I wasn’t supposed to be with Jamal that day when he went to the [Saudi consulate](https://time.com/5686799/prince-mohammed-bin-salman-khashoggi-murder-pbs/) to get the necessary documents for our marriage. He knew I was busy with my Ph.D. work and had told me to carry on with my studying. But in the end, I offered to go with him. Apart from being a person I loved, [Jamal was a person](https://time.com/5416396/jamal-khashoggi-saudi-arabia-journalist-missing/) I profoundly respected, whose life, status, experience and values I admired. I was always happy to know where he was going and to help him out, especially when he was in Istanbul, where we spent a lot of time together. It made him happy, too. Who would have known that as we were finalizing preparations for our marriage, others were moving in for his murder? As the hours passed by in deep silence, I waited for him and stared at the gates of the consulate in fear and hope. By the time I realized something was wrong, the damage was already done. Jamal’s blood had already been spilled; his body cut up into pieces. I still had no idea of the dark nights to come. In the days that followed, my phone rang constantly for hours. Were the calls from journalists? I could not answer most of them. Although it took a long time for the news to emerge, [Jamal’s death](https://time.com/5475109/jamal-khashoggi-saudi-arabia-audio-last-words/) in the consulate that day was eventually confirmed to the public on Oct. 19\. Turkey was saved from being the host to an anonymous murder. That is hardly enough to ease the enormous loss of Jamal. After the news of the atrocity, I felt detached from life for a long time. I did not read the news; I did not follow what was written during the period. Articles or phone calls would not be able to bring Jamal back. But journalists and rights groups managed to keep the issue on the international agenda for a long time, with sheer loyalty to Jamal and what he stood for. For this I am grateful, and I hope they will uphold their moral responsibility and continue to pursue justice for this brave man. But Jamal was murdered. I will never see or have the chance to meet with him again in the earthly realm. All my dreams have been profoundly shaken. Before this, I had my own struggles in life like everyone else. Now, Jamal’s fight for justice has been added to them. Because world leaders claim to represent justice but lack morality, I have been left with the burden of carrying this feeling. I am not just the woman going after her partner’s cause in his absence, but also the one left to hold to account those who took his life. **A year later,** the first thing that comes to my mind is shame, an immense disappointment that the systems of the world are built on economic interests rather than ethical values. As a researcher of the Middle East and a future academic, I can see that the day Jamal was killed was [not simply the murder of a journalist](https://time.com/5428159/jamal-khashoggi-murder/). It was also the murder of fundamental values: human rights, the international rule of law, the norms of diplomacy. The situation reminded me of the words of the wise Alija Izetbegovic during the Bosnian War: “What is being defended in Bosnia today is not just Bosnia itself; what is being defended is Europe. For in Bosnia today, the values vowed to be upheld by Europe are being defended.” Jamal supported[ the fight for democracy in the Middle East](https://time.com/5565084/egypt-alaa-aswany-sisi-press/) after the Arab Spring. “It is time for concepts like freedom of thought and democracy to arrive in Arab states as well,” he would say. It was statements like these that so provoked the current leaders of Saudi Arabia, afraid of their own shadows, their rage growing into such animosity that they carved up a human being because of his words. Jamal only wanted to practice journalism. He acted as a journalist should. But in the minds of those who only saw journalists as spies giving intelligence to the public, he was extremely dangerous. From this perspective, Jamal’s murder shows how our part of the world—the Middle East—is being left in the dark ages. Most of Jamal’s friends were either in prison or did not have such a strong voice that could speak to the whole world. But Jamal found comfort in knowing that so many like-minded people were with him and supported him. This is what he meant every time he said he was not alone with these beliefs. What happened to Jamal showed how far human rights have been abandoned in the Arab world. Jamal’s name now represents all the nameless people in this region who would like to speak but can’t articulate what they want to say, and have to remain anonymous on social media. The murder of Jamal, a rare man of his generation, was a blow to [everyone fighting for democracy](https://time.com/5665392/10-most-urgent-press-freedom-september/) in the region. It wasn’t just people who knew him who cried at his death; it was everyone crying for the fate of the people from this region. Muslims around the world performed a funeral prayer without a body. In getting rid of his body, his killers had dealt yet another blow to those who loved Jamal. But at the same time, they sowed the seeds of a new enlightenmentand a movement to fight for freedom around the world and, above all, in the Middle East. While I was traveling recently, a man came to help me with my suitcase, walking with me until passport control without looking at me. When we paused, I thanked him for his kind gesture. “May Jamal rest in peace,” he replied. “I wish I could do more for you. I am Iranian; I recognized you as we were boarding the plane. I am so sorry for what happened. I was very much affected by it all.” Then he said goodbye and left, and I stood there watching him walk away. The savagery of Jamal’s killing pained anyone with a conscience. By helping me that day, that Iranian man tried to relieve his own suffering. Days later, I saw a middle-aged lady approaching me. Her eyes brimming with tears, she asked me if I was Jamal’s partner; I said yes. “Please, let me hug you,” she said, wanting to prove how sincere she was. I learned this mother was from Iraq and was suffering too, sharing in the pain of Jamal’s brutal killing. They tried to silence Jamal forever. But instead he has become the symbol of our collective moral conscience, the voice for the voiceless in the Middle East. ## Transcript [ MUSIC ] Who holds government accountable not we cross these lines we sound the alert There are now people in power who see journalism as a threat [ FOREIGN ] Freedom of Of the press starts at the local level. [ FOREIGN ] It is violence, fear and lies. We don't have the luxury to lose our freedom. What are you gonna stand for, what is the line that you won't cross? [ SOUND ] [ MUSIC ] Their Philippines is a customary tale for the United States. Duterte is an authoritarian [ CROSSTALK ] He's an authoritarian leader accused of a variety of human rights abuses. Duterte pledged that he would kill a hundred thousands filipinos. When people don't know what is real and what is fake, the voice with the loudest megaphone gains more power. There's no president for what the government is doing. They just have no idea where it will go. [ SOUND ] Mainstream media in Vietnam are monopolize by the state. The numer of Bloggers being setenced to very long. And has been held after exposing a toxic waste. [ FOREIGN ] A court in Myanmar sentenced [ CROSSTALK ] Was sentenced to seven years in prison. The journalist said they were framed because of their reported of a massacre of Rohingya people. My husband worked to expose the truth. I am teaching my child to be proud of her father. [ FOREIGN ] The problem goes beyond censorship. China's massive surveillance program. I make the decision to prohobit this operation. Where is he? Whats happened to him? Her husband has been detained in the Northwestern part of the country. You can't be asking questions. If one takes the definition of news as something that someone wants to suppress, by definition, journalists will be going against the interests of the powerful. More protests are happening in Sudan. [ CROSSTALK ] In institutions, rule of law, we lost all of these things. Sudan is a country without laws. We are not the [ INAUDIBLE ] you are nothing. Democrats and Republicans alike have been criticizing president Trump after he refused to punish Saudi Arabia over the murder of the journalist Jamal Khashoggi. We're not gonna give up hundreds of billions of dollars in orders. You have to be wilfully blind not to come to the conclusion that the crown prince is a wrecking ball. And it is complicit in the murder of Mr. Khashoggi. We all learned in our schools that the journalists shouldn't be the story itself. My government didn't like the story. They put me in jail. I was attacked, and I'm in exile now. The story is not written by myself Tatiana Felgengauer was stabbed in the neck by an assailant who breached station security and attacked her. It's hard, but if you feel that you cannot be anyone else, be brave, and be Here's the moment Arkady Babchenko returned from the dead. Well that is the journalist who was reported had been shot dead. [ FOREIGN ] Around 10, 000 Hungarians have protested in Budapest against government control of the media. Critics fear it's a sign the country is slipping into authoritarianism. Bad situation in Venezuela getting a whole lot worse, the Attorney General. [ CROSSTALK ] Deadly protests riddled the streets this summer after President Maduro rewrote the country's constitution and banned the main opposition party. [ FOREIGN ] [ FOREIGN ] Mexico is the most dangerous country in Latin America. [ FOREIGN ] [ FOREIGN ] [ MUSIC ] The news doesn't tell the truth. They are so dishonest. You are fake news. Explosive devices discovered in multiple locations. We're gonna jump in there's a fire alarm here. You might have heard it in the background we're gonna find out what the latest. I hate being the story, I just do. There has been a shooting at a newspaper building in Annapolis. That put us closer to the rest of the world in a way this horrifying but eye opening. [ MUSIC ] [ FOREIGN ] it's a series of small decisions that in the end bends and breaks the rule of law. When I'm dissapointed or pessimistic I always go to my library And read history books. Democracy and freedom of the press, they are fragile, but in the end they will prevail. [ MUSIC ] ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/5690601/jamal-khashoggi-anniversary/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/5690601/jamal-khashoggi-anniversary/"},"headline":"Jamal Khashoggi Was My Fiancé. 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