Tom Hanks Stole a Cardboard Cutout of Himself to Try to Sully His Pristine Reputation

Jimmy Kimmel is a bad influence. The late night talk show host dared America’s sweetheart, Tom Hanks, to go on a crime spree and Hanks was peer pressured into complying.

On Thursday night’s episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Kimmel teased the Toy Story star for being too “wonderful and perfect in every way”. To help him besmirch his reputation—and prove he has a naughty streak—Kimmel dared the Oscar-winning actor to leave the studio and go steal a cardboard cut out of himself that was on display at a nearby gift shop.

“I fear nothing,” Hanks said, accepting Kimmel’s dare. “Watch this,” he said, grabbing a mic and heading outside to embark on his life of crime.

Being Tom Hanks and not a hardened criminal, he seemingly couldn’t help himself from saying hello to people along the way, and placing an order with a sausage vendor so he could pick up a snack while on the lam. (Apparently you can work up quite an appetite while on a crime spree.)

After entering the gift shop, Hanks headed straight to the cardboard cut-outs, which are also known as “standees”, pausing long enough to deface a cut-out of Matt Damon, the longtime enemy of Kimmel, blacking out a tooth and scribbling “I’m a dope” on the cut-out’s cardboard forehead. That act of vandalism was a gateway to a slippery slope and Hanks then embarked on some more serious crimes. He swiped a few fun-sized Oscars to go with his real ones, grabbed the cut-out of himself, and yelled to the store clerks, “I’m Tom Hanks and I’m stealing this standee.” It wasn’t a subtle escape, but at least they know where to send the bill.