--- title: Schools Need to Teach Young People How Not to Be Offended description: Irshad Manji, author of "Don't Label Me," argues that schools shouldn't just teach students how not to be offensive. canonical: https://time.com/5543441/stop-getting-offended/ author: Joey Lautrup article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2019-03-06T20:50:42.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-10-13T08:24:30.353Z article:section: Ideas og:title: It's Time to Teach Young People How to Stop Being So Offended og:description: 'Giving offense is the price of diversity, not an impediment to diversity' og:url: https://time.com/5543441/stop-getting-offended/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltcc5db1611708770e/698946314ee262c9dc3141ed/work-here-justines-edits.00_00_11_02.still001.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1920 og:image:height: 1080 og:image:alt: WORK HERE-JUSTINE'S EDITS.00_00_11_02.Still001 og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: It's Time to Teach Young People How to Stop Being So Offended twitter:description: 'Giving offense is the price of diversity, not an impediment to diversity' twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltcc5db1611708770e/698946314ee262c9dc3141ed/work-here-justines-edits.00_00_11_02.still001.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # It's Time to Teach Young People How to Stop Being So Offended > Sponsored content. 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A paid TIME subscription is separate and available at time.com/subscribe-agent. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-inside-2026q3/newsletters?i=f8a7232c-78ac-4e01-8ee7-e1814890854c&cr=time-nl-inside-2026q3-v1) ## Video: TIME Ideas: Worry Less About Offending People and More About Being Able to Take Offense [Watch (HLS stream): TIME Ideas: Worry Less About Offending People and More About Being Able to Take Offense](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/ml5Hfcn3.m3u8) (3:10)  _Published 2019-03-06. Irshad Manji, author of Don’t Label Me: An Incredible Conversation for Divided Times, thinks it’s about time we all stopped getting offended._  by [Joey Lautrup](https://time.com/author/joey-lautrup/)  ## Joey Lautrup Mar 6, 2019 8:50 PM UTC  by [Joey Lautrup](https://time.com/author/joey-lautrup/)  ## Joey Lautrup Mar 6, 2019 8:50 PM UTC Irshad Manji, author of [_Don’t Label Me: An Incredible Conversation for Divided Times_](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1250157986/ref=as%5Fli%5Fqf%5Fasin%5Fil%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=time037-20&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=1250157986&linkId=d5110aa1386c14a8d04996d877c7d6b0), thinks it’s about time we all stopped getting offended. Speaking to TIME at New York’s Tenement Museum, Manji argues that when we allow ourselves to take offense, we miss out on the opportunity to learn from people with views that differ from our own. “Giving offense is the price of diversity, not an impediment to diversity,” she says. “While more and more schools are teaching young people how not to be offensive, they also need to be teaching a new generation how not to be offended.” Watch her full argument in the video above. ## Transcript I'm Irshad Manji. I'm an educator and author of the new book Don't Label Me. And I'm here to propose that while more and more schools are teaching young people how not to be offensive, they also need to be teaching a new generation how not to be offended. [ MUSIC ] [ MUSIC ] First, giving offense if the price of diversity not an impediment to diversity. Now by diversity, I mean more than different complexions, and genders, and religions, I also mean different points of view. For example, I'm a Muslim. And I believe in reconciling my faith with freedom. Some muslims are appalled by my viewpoint, others are delighted by it, most are somewhere in between. Which goes to show that even within groups There is diversity. Teaching young people how not to be offended is to equip them to embrace people as complex individuals. And not just as mascots of this or that, try. The second reason for teaching kids how not to be offended. We grow by engaging those with whom we disagree. When we take offense, we're in reactive mode and we miss opportunities to ask people why they believe what they do do. Whenever I've asked that of fellow Muslims who are outraged by my view point, I've gleaned information. With which I can reframe my arguments in ways that they can hear. By refusing to be offended that they're offended, I've been able to stand my ground while seeking common ground. And that's necessary in our hyperpolarized times All this brings me to the third reason, that schools should be teaching students the how of not taking defense at everything. It's a life skill. No matter what kind of life you have, to tackle [ INAUDIBLE ] problems in your family, with friends, at work, in the wider world. You need buy- in. How do you get it? Not by finding excuses to shame the holdout, but by hearing them out. Look, I'm not saying that we should clam up whenever we encounter intolerance or outright hate. Of course we should stand up to it. The operative question is how. Bruce Lee said, be like water. Water can't predict where it needs to go. Just as humans don't know what the future holds. But water always finds a way, around or over, or through obstacles. Not by labeling them Not by demanding that they disappear, but by treating them with grace. Think of it as moral martial arts. I'd go to school for that. 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