In her first public statement since the death of Mac Miller, Ariana Grande remembered her ex-boyfriend with an emotional tribute.
Grande took to her Instagram on Friday to express her sorrow over the loss of Miller, who died at his home in California’s San Fernando Valley on Sept. 7.
“I adored you from the day I met you when I was nineteen and I always will,” she captioned a video of Miller. “I can’t believe you aren’t here anymore. I really can’t wrap my head around it. We talked about this. So many times. I’m so mad, I’m so sad I don’t know what to do. You were my dearest friend. For so long. Above anything else. I’m so sorry I couldn’t fix or take your pain away. I really wanted to. The kindest, sweetest soul with demons he never deserved. I hope you’re okay now. Rest.”
A cause of death is yet to be determined, but PEOPLE reports that the rapper went into cardiac arrest after appearing to suffer a drug overdose. He was 26.
Grande also posted a black and white photo of Miller with no caption to her Instagram one day after his death.
Miller and Grande dated from August 2016 to May 2018 and remained on good terms until his death, according to PEOPLE. During a July interview on Beats 1 on Apple Music, Miller told host Zane Lowe that he wished Grande nothing but the best following her engagement to Pete Davidson.
“I was in love with somebody. We were together for two years. We worked through good times, bad times, stress and everything else. And then it came to an end and we both moved on. And it’s that simple,” he said. “It’s all positive energy. I am happy for her and [the fact that she’s] moving forward with her life, just as I’m sure she is with me.”
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Write to Megan McCluskey at megan.mccluskey@time.com