White House staffers and members of Donald Trump’s Administration have been a hard time eating lately.
First, protesters drove Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen driven out of a Mexican restaurant. Then, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said the Red Hen restaurant in Lexington, Virginia, denied her service because she worked for the President. Luckily for those hungry White House employees, Stephen Colbert has an idea.
On Monday night’s episode of The Late Show, the host unveiled a plan for a fully mobile restaurant designed for White House employees who “just want to dine in peace.” The Au Bon Van eatery is “conveniently located in the back of a moving van so it has no fixed location.” The advertisement notes that this is the perfect place for a quiet meal, because “protestors can’t harass what they can’t catch.”
If Sanders does brave a restaurant in the future, in his monologue, Colbert made few suggestions for anyone who has to serve her. “Restaurant workers, you don’t have to kick out Sarah Huckabee Sanders, just treat her the same way she treats her customers.” he explains. “Only take the order of the two people at the table you like, then tell Sanders, ‘I’m not going to comment on whether this dish contains peanuts.’ And when the food never arrives, just say, ‘I haven’t talked to the chef about that yet, so I can’t give you any new information; I’ll be back at 2:45 p.m. tomorrow with a completely different menu that you can’t order from.”
More Must-Reads from TIME
- Where Trump 2.0 Will Differ From 1.0
- How Elon Musk Became a Kingmaker
- The Power—And Limits—of Peer Support
- The 100 Must-Read Books of 2024
- Column: If Optimism Feels Ridiculous Now, Try Hope
- The Future of Climate Action Is Trade Policy
- FX’s Say Nothing Is the Must-Watch Political Thriller of 2024
- Merle Bombardieri Is Helping People Make the Baby Decision
Contact us at letters@time.com