By Katie Reilly
June 11, 2018

Mindy Kaling delivered the commencement address on Sunday to graduates at Dartmouth College, her alma mater.

“I’ll tell you my secret, the one thing that has kept me going through the years, my superpower: delusion,” said Kaling, who stars in Ocean’s 8, which opened in theaters on Friday. “This is something I may share with our President, a fact that is both horrifying and interesting. Two years in, I think we can pretty safely say that he’s not getting carved onto Mount Rushmore; but damn if that is not a testament to how far you can get by just by believing that you are the smartest, most successful person in the world.”

“My point is: You have to have insane confidence in yourself, even if it’s not real,” she added.

In between practical life tips — buy a toilet plunger, remove “proficient at Word” from your resume — Kaling also directed some dating advice at men: “Act as if every woman you’re talking to is a reporter for an online publication that you are scared of,” she said. “One shouldn’t need the threat of public exposure and scorn to treat women well; but if that’s what it’s gonna take, fine.”

And she spoke candidly about the birth of her daughter, Katherine, in December. “I remember bringing her home and being in my house with her for the first time and thinking, ‘Huh. According to movies and TV, this is traditionally the time when my mother and spouse are supposed to be here, sharing this experience with me.’ And I looked around, and I had neither. And for a moment, it was kind of scary. Like, ‘Can I do this by myself?'” she said. “But then, that feeling went away because the reality is, I’m not doing it by myself. I’m surrounded by family and friends who love and support me. And the joy I feel from being with my daughter Katherine eclipses anything from any crazy checklist.”

Watch her full speech here. And read her complete remarks, which were published by Dartmouth, on Sunday:

Write to Katie Reilly at Katie.Reilly@time.com.

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