--- title: How Much Sex Is Healthy In a Relationship? description: Find out how much sex is normal to have in a relationship, according to researchers. canonical: https://time.com/4693679/how-much-sex-healthy-relationship/ author: Markham Heid article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2017-03-07T17:14:33.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:44:52.282Z og:title: Here’s How Much Sex You Should Have Every Week og:description: To maximize happiness and health og:url: https://time.com/4693679/how-much-sex-healthy-relationship/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltecff8e251b97174f/6988bd5c97cdfff62d6afbcb/sex-healthy-relationship.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 5120 og:image:height: 2880 og:image:alt: Richard & Kirstin bed feet -009 og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Here’s How Much Sex You Should Have Every Week twitter:description: To maximize happiness and health twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltecff8e251b97174f/6988bd5c97cdfff62d6afbcb/sex-healthy-relationship.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Here’s How Much Sex You Should Have Every Week (7 Mar 2017) > Sponsored content. 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It is a free newsletter available at time.com/newsletters. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-worth-2026q3/newsletters?i=9b467634-aa50-4049-88bf-b7e743d62402&cr=time-nl-worth-2026q3-v1) ## Video: A 100-Year-Old Sex Therapist on Having Good Sex, Then and Now [Watch (HLS stream): A 100-Year-Old Sex Therapist on Having Good Sex, Then and Now](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/uJFYIrvP.m3u8) (3:13)  _Published 2014-08-20. A practicing sex therapist in New York City, Dr. Shirley Zussman has witnessed everything from the legalization of the contraceptive birth control pill to the AIDs epidemic in the 1980s to the rise of internet porn in the new millenium._ by [Markham Heid](https://time.com/author/markham-heid/) ## Markham Heid Markham Heid is a contributor at TIME. He is the author of The Habit Trap, due out in early 2027. Mar 7, 2017 5:14 PM UTC  Male and female feet in bed under blankets Male and female feet in bed under blankets Tom Merton—Getty Images by [Markham Heid](https://time.com/author/markham-heid/) ## Markham Heid Markham Heid is a contributor at TIME. He is the author of The Habit Trap, due out in early 2027. Mar 7, 2017 5:14 PM UTC Sex and health go hand in hand. Research [has linked it](http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01677.x/full) to a slimmer waistline, a stronger heart and a lower risk for prostate and breast cancers. It’s also a boon for mental health, since sex is associated with lower rates of depression and better mood. But Americans today are having less of it than Americans a decade ago, according to a just-released [study](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-017-0953-1) appearing in _Archives of Sexual Behavior_. From 2010 to 2014, the average American adult had sex nine fewer times per year than Americans did from 2000 to 2004, the researchers found. That drop in frequency was even steeper for married couples who live together; they had sex 16 fewer times a year. What’s going on? “We can only speculate,” says the study’s first author, Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University and author of [_Generation Me_](http://www.generationme.org/). But the increase in time spent working and parenting may be possible explanations for the drop in sex among married people. she says. Plus, with the rise in quality and accessibility of streaming entertainment, competition for free time is stiffer. “There are now so many other ways to spend leisure time at home,” she says. The allure of Netflix and other device-based diversions may be elbowing sex aside. But despite these declines in hanky panky, our lives are far from sexless. The average adult enjoys sex 54 times a year, or a little more than once a week, Twenge’s data show. While married couples under the same roof don’t fool around quite as much, they still have sex about 51 times each year. That’s a good thing, because having sex once a week may be “optimal” if you’re hoping to maximize happiness, [according to research](http://time.com/4116508/for-a-happier-life-have-sex-once-a-week/) from Amy Muise, an assistant professor of psychology at York University in Canada. Muise and her study team found that couples who have a lot of sex tend to experience better wellbeing. “Sex is associated with feeling more satisfied in a relationship,” Muise says. But beyond once a week, the wellbeing benefits of sex seem to level off. That’s not to say that having sex a few times a week (or more) is a bad thing. It just doesn’t seem to make couples any happier, she says. Of course, it’s hard to show cause and effect when it comes to sex and your health. Leading a happy, healthy lifestyle likely leads to more sex; the act itself doesn’t necessarily improve your physical and mental wellness. Still, whether sex is a symptom or a cause of wellbeing, a healthy sex life is worth the work. If you’re falling short of that once-a-week quota, making an effort to have more sex could be a good idea, as long as it doesn’t feel too forced. A 2015 [study](http://www.cmu.edu/dietrich/sds/docs/loewenstein/IncreasedSexualFrequency.pdf) from Carnegie Mellon University concluded that couples who tried to have more sex did not feel happier—but that study’s author, economics and psychology professor George Loewenstein, takes his own findings with a grain of salt. “In retrospect, I believe that this study was misguided,” he says. “Instructing couples to double their frequency might have turned sex into a chore for them.” Muise also points out that the couples in Loewenstein’s study were already having sex once a week. “It’s possible that they were already maximizing the association \[between sex and\] wellbeing,” she says. “I still think that couples could benefit from a bit of outside encouragement to have more sex,” Loewenstein says. That’s especially true if you and your significant other have been together for a long time. “When a couple has been together for some time, the mere presence of the other person, even unclothed, ceases to be exciting or arousing.” But that doesn’t mean doing it won’t be just as fun and invigorating as it used to be, he says. It may just take a little more work to get your fires started. ## Transcript Sexual pleasure is only one part of what men and women want from each other. They want intimacy, they want closeness, they want understanding, they want comfort, they want fun, and they want somebody who really cares about them beyond going to bed with them, and I think people are always seeking that. In every generation. [ MUSIC ] My name is Shirley Zussman. I just reached a hundred years of age, and I am a practicing sex therapist. I was invited with my husband to a lecture in New Jersey, in 1966. Masters and Johnson were the speakers. No body knew about them. Human sexual response had just been published, what I saw was a couple who will say that people had problems in an area in their lives that was very important and they were recognizing that it was all not just. Glamorous and wonderful to be sexual. One had to almost had to learn how to be a good partner and to endure the pleasure not only for yourself but for each other. And I thought we can do that. Why can't we do that? And we applied for training with Masters and Johnson at that time. The patients that came to us were people who read the paper. The only way they do anything about the work that was being done there. And the problems they came with, was somewhat different than the problems they come with today. Mostly, women came because would put out orgasmic, they didn't know how to achieve an orgasm, but they wanted one. It was so over that ,. Goal they had for themselves and how do I get there. That was one Masters and Johnson's contribution that there was a relatively simple way to start learning about your body. In other words, get, get to know your, who you are sexually and physically and that was. And encouragement for masturbation for learning what makes you feel good. I see a big change in the we view casual sex. In the 60's I think it was not just casual it was frantic. I'm shocked at the lack of connection with people; because of iPhones, even I love my iPhone. There is so much less actual physical connection, there's less touching, there's less talking, there's less holding, there's less looking, [ INAUDIBLE ]. People get pleasure from looking at each other. But the most common problem, I would say, in the sex therapy that I live in, is a lack of desire. You have to look at your priorities. You have to decide what is important to make you feel good about yourself and your life. 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