February 23, 2017 4:25 PM EST

An Ohio woman who passed away at the age of 91 Monday was given the perfect send-off in the form of an obituary written in her own voice. Columbus resident Jean E. Oddi’s spirited farewell column — which exemplified the personality of the “Queen of Sass” — was written by her daughter, Casey Oddi Clark, and granddaughter, Melissa Falter, and published in The Columbus Dispatch Wednesday.

“I was born. I lived. I died. I hate to admit it, but evidently I died,” the obit began. “I’m leaving behind a hell of a lot of stuff Casey and Melissa will have to get rid of. So, if you’re looking for random cr-p, you should wait the appropriate amount of time and get in touch with them.”

It continued by memorializing Oddi’s many life accomplishments, including her “doctorate in B-tchology.”

Read the full column — which cost the family $1,250 — here.

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Write to Megan McCluskey at megan.mccluskey@time.com.

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