You know when you just really don’t want to get up and shower and be a functional human being and put on a clean shirt and go to work? For Florida man Dwayne Yeager, that feeling was apparently so strong that he staged a burglary just to avoid going to his job, the Tampa Bay Times reports.
Shortly after 7 a.m. Monday, the 31-year-old called authorities and said his home in Brandon, Fl., had been broken into. When deputies arrived, they said the house appeared ransacked — but they saw no signs of forced entry. They questioned neighbors, who said they had seen Yeager leave his house for a little while. When he returned, they saw him open some windows.
Basically, authorities weren’t buying his story, and soon enough, he admitted that he’d made the whole thing up to avoid going to his fabrication job (the irony!) at Dooson Hydro Technology. He was promptly arrested and taken to a nearby jail on one count of providing false information to law enforcement. He was released later that day on bail.
But at least he didn’t have to go to work!