--- title: What You Should Never Say to Someone Going Through IVF description: Find out what you should never say to someone going through IVF treatments after Chrissy Teigen shut down a troll. canonical: https://time.com/4655931/chrissy-teigen-ivf-conversation-advice/ author: TIME article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2017-01-31T22:28:49.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-04-13T09:04:37.235Z og:title: What You Should Never Say to Someone Going Through IVF og:description: As inspired by Chrissy Teigen's Twitter trolls og:url: https://time.com/4655931/chrissy-teigen-ivf-conversation-advice/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltbd0accc205d0118b/6988b836196cf43df103eb05/chrissy-teigen-ivf.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: 28th Annual Producers Guild Awards - Arrivals og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: What You Should Never Say to Someone Going Through IVF twitter:description: As inspired by Chrissy Teigen's Twitter trolls twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltbd0accc205d0118b/6988b836196cf43df103eb05/chrissy-teigen-ivf.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # What You Should Never Say to Someone Going Through IVF by [Jeannie Kim / Health.com](https://time.com/author/health-com/) ## Jeannie Kim / Health.com Jan 31, 2017 10:28 PM UTC  BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JANUARY 28: Chrissy Teigen attends the 28th annual Producers Guild Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 28, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic) BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JANUARY 28: Chrissy Teigen attends the 28th annual Producers Guild Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 28, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)Jason LaVeris—FilmMagic by [Jeannie Kim / Health.com](https://time.com/author/health-com/) ## Jeannie Kim / Health.com Jan 31, 2017 10:28 PM UTC Chrissy Teigen is shutting down the haters again. On the red carpet this weekend she was asked about having another baby with husband John Legend. She [replied](http://people.com/babies/sag-awards-chrissy-teigen-john-legend/), “A little boy is next, for sure,” and later took to Twitter to clarify: > [](https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/826147916515471361) > [](https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/826147995024453633) One Twitter user took it upon herself to criticize Teigen, who responded: > [](https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/826150753035186176) Teigen has been open about her [infertility struggles](http://www.health.com/pregnancy/chrissy-teigen-on-her-infertility-struggle-i-just-wanted-to-talk-about-it-for-so-long), including the fact that she was able to [choose the sex](http://www.health.com/pregnancy/is-it-actually-possible-to-choose-a-babys-gender-through-ivf?xid=motto) of her first child, Luna. But just because she’s a super honest celebrity is no excuse for rudeness. Let’s have a little refresher about what not to say to someone who’s going through [in vitro fertilization](http://www.health.com/pregnancy/ivf-health-risks?xid=motto) (or has done it in the past): ### **Did you try it naturally first?** Nope, I thought I’d empty my bank account and turn myself into a pincushion for fun instead of bothering with yucky old sex! Seriously: Anyone doing IVF has already gone down a long road of timed intercourse, cycle tracking, and less-intense fertility treatments (like Clomid and/or intrauterine insemination). In most cases, there is a very good medical reason why IVF is necessary for them to conceive. And let’s not forget about lesbian couples, for whom “trying it naturally” isn’t an option. ### **Are you going to end up with triplets?** So often the big headline-making fertility cases are the exceptions—Octomom, Kate Gosselin. But advances in fertility treatment have made [multiple births](http://www.health.com/mind-body/births-of-triplets-quadruplets-on-decline-in-u-s-report?xid=motto) much rarer. P.S. If your friend or acquaintance is worried about multiples, getting all nosy about the topic is not going to help her feel better. **RELATED:** [**9 Things to Know If You’re Thinking About IVF**](http://www.health.com/pregnancy/ivf-health-risks?xid=motto) ### **Why don’t you just adopt?** Adoption is not a treatment for [infertility](http://www.health.com/infertility). It’s another way of building a family—a wonderful one, but one that can be just as arduous and expensive as IVF. Some people need to mourn the possibility of having a biological child before they can even consider adoption; others may simply not want to go down that path at all. And by the way, infertile people are under no more obligation to adopt than anyone else. ### **I know someone who tried and tried with IVF and then she went on vacation and got pregnant naturally!** While [stress](http://www.health.com/healthday/can-stress-lower-womans-fertility) can play a role in conception, relaxing or going to a spa are not cures for infertility (which is a medical condition). You would never tell someone with cancer to skip treatment and just go on vacation, would you? ### **Have you tried acupuncture/this crazy herb/eating yams/\[fill in the blank\]?** Are you a doctor who specializes in fertility? If not, keep your “treatment” suggestions to yourself. ### **Ugh, I could never do that.** Look, no one _wants_ to give herself multiple injections a day for months on end, get a transvaginal ultrasound and blood test every morning, and have 5–25 eggs sucked out of her ovaries via a needle through the vagina. You do it because you have to, just like you would take your insulin injections if you had [diabetes](http://www.health.com/type-1-diabetes?xid=motto) or get your chemo treatments if you had [cancer](http://www.health.com/breast-cancer?xid=motto). (Infertility is a medical condition, remember?) **RELATED:** [**Maria Menounos Opens Up About IVF: “It’s Exhausting, Physically and Mentally”**](http://www.health.com/celebrities/maria-menounos-july-2016?xid=motto) ### **How much does it cost?** A lot. A LOT lot. Like, some people ending up taking out second mortgages on their houses to pay for it. Even with excellent health insurance, the co-payments and prescription costs can run into the thousands. Without insurance, we’re talking five figures for a single cycle. Unless you’re close enough to the person to discuss your credit card debt in great detail, don’t even think about asking this question. ### **Maybe you weren’t meant to be a mom.** Come on. That’s just cruel. _This_ [_article_](http://www.health.com/infertility/chrissy-teigen-ivf-comments) _originally appeared on_ [_Health.com_ ](http://health.com) ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4655931/chrissy-teigen-ivf-conversation-advice/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4655931/chrissy-teigen-ivf-conversation-advice/"},"headline":"What You Should Never Say to Someone Going Through IVF","datePublished":"2017-01-31T22:28:49.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T09:04:37.235Z","description":"As inspired by Chrissy Teigen's Twitter trolls","url":"https://time.com/4655931/chrissy-teigen-ivf-conversation-advice/","keywords":["motto"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltbd0accc205d0118b/6988b836196cf43df103eb05/chrissy-teigen-ivf.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Jeannie Kim / Health.com"}],"articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltbd0accc205d0118b/6988b836196cf43df103eb05/chrissy-teigen-ivf.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"28th Annual Producers Guild Awards - Arrivals","caption":"28th Annual Producers Guild Awards - Arrivals","creditText":"Jason LaVeris—FilmMagic","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/tag/motto/","name":"motto"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4655931/chrissy-teigen-ivf-conversation-advice/","name":"What You Should Never Say to Someone Going Through IVF"}}]}] ```