November 17, 2016 7:34 AM EST

Conflict in families is inevitable, especially during the holidays–and probably never more so than after this election. Here are some steps to keep opposing views from turning the festivities into a disaster:

1 AVOID PERSONAL ATTACKS

Don’t follow the candidates’ leads by personally insulting people who disagree with you. Focus your comments on the substance of what they’re saying.

2 TIME YOUR TALKS

If you’re tired or hungry, you’re more cranky and less likely to have a reasoned and respectful discussion.

3 DON’T CONDEMN

Many people have valid reasons for their political views; you don’t have to agree with them, but you should listen and try to respect them.

4 REMEMBER: THIS TOO SHALL PASS

We elect a President every four years; airing and discussing different views is the way we work toward change for the better.

This appears in the November 28, 2016 issue of TIME.

Contact us at editors@time.com.

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