Conflict in families is inevitable, especially during the holidays–and probably never more so than after this election. Here are some steps to keep opposing views from turning the festivities into a disaster:
1 AVOID PERSONAL ATTACKS
Don’t follow the candidates’ leads by personally insulting people who disagree with you. Focus your comments on the substance of what they’re saying.
2 TIME YOUR TALKS
If you’re tired or hungry, you’re more cranky and less likely to have a reasoned and respectful discussion.
3 DON’T CONDEMN
Many people have valid reasons for their political views; you don’t have to agree with them, but you should listen and try to respect them.
4 REMEMBER: THIS TOO SHALL PASS
We elect a President every four years; airing and discussing different views is the way we work toward change for the better.
This appears in the November 28, 2016 issue of TIME.