Gwen Stefani: Marriage ‘Was the One Thing I Didn’t Want to Fail At’

She’s nabbed numerous awards, toured around the world and stolen the heart of one of country’s biggest stars — but Gwen Stefani says she still feels like a “failure” in one aspect of her life.

Opening up for her “Woman of the Year” cover interview with Glamour magazine‘s December issue, Stefani admits that the dissolution of her nearly 13-year marriage to Gavin Rossdale last year made her feel embarrassed.

“I don’t think you’ll talk to one person who didn’t make it in a marriage who’s not gonna feel that way,” she admits. “The intention of being married is the vow, right? You want to put everything into it to make it a success.”

Stefani says she often looked to her own parents, who just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, as an example of “marital” success — which made she and Rossdale’s own issues even harder to swallow.

“I had to work really hard at marriage, all the time, like everybody, but ours was extra hard, when you add that we’re from different countries, both of us being in music, and celebrity,” she tells the magazine. “[Marriage] was the one thing I didn’t want to fail at.”

She continues, “People can say whatever they want to about me… and I don’t get too affected. But I didn’t want them to think I was a failure.”

The singer, 47, assures that there’s “nothing weird” about her feelings in the wake of her marriage’s breakup and says she’s in “such a new place.”

Part of that place? The “unexpected gift” that was and is Stefani’s beau Blake Shelton.

She says, “He was a friend to me when I needed a friend.”

This article originally appeared on People.com