--- description: If you want to turn your quarter-life crisis into a breakthrough, you have to stop focusing on everyone else’s noise. title: How to Turn a Quarter-Life Crisis Into Finding Your Purpose image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blta4a2ef091a682be9/69887b48cd1bba21b26ff2eb/confusion-2-mental-health-self-betterment.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  * [Health](/section/health/) ## Health Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close * [Mental Health/Psychology](/tag/mental-healthpsychology/) ## Mental Health/Psychology Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close # How to Survive a Quarter-Life Crisis and Find Your True Purpose by [Adam Smiley Poswolsky / Health.com](/author/health-com/) ## Adam Smiley Poswolsky / Health.com Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Oct 12, 2016 6:00 PM CUT  Peechaya Burroughs for TIME by [Adam Smiley Poswolsky / Health.com](/author/health-com/) ## Adam Smiley Poswolsky / Health.com Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Oct 12, 2016 6:00 PM CUT During my quarter-life crisis, I felt paralyzed to make a change. I felt like I was at the intersection of hopeless, stuck, and FOMO (or fear of missing out). I said to myself, “I hate my job and I want to do something else, but I don’t know where to start. I’m interested in so many things, but none of them seem perfect. All my friends on Facebook are so happy and successful. My friend is a _Forbes_ 30 Under 30\. My buddy is traveling around Thailand. My friend just got engaged. I’m tired of being single. I’m a failure.” Everything feels impossible during a quarter-life crisis, even small decisions like which shampoo to buy, or which show to watch on Netflix. But the five simple steps below helped me get through that period of intense confusion—and eventually, find my true purpose. I hope these tips will be helpful as you discover yours. ### **Stop the comparisons** Social media has made it all but impossible to avoid [comparing yourself to others](http://www.health.com/health/article/0,,20882978,00.html "undefined"). We see only the coolest parts of our friends’ lives, like when they get a new job, fall in love, or travel somewhere beautiful. We think, “Wow, I really need to get my act together.” All of us are figuring it out, even our friends whose Instagram grass looks _really_ green. All of us are on different paths, with no right or wrong answer. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time. Stop worrying about what _other_ people think and start figuring out what _you_ want. **_Health.com:_**[_Elizabeth Gilbert Shares Her Secrets to Living a More Creative Life_](http://www.health.com/health/article/0,,20943382,00.html/?xid=time "undefined") ### **Pursue what’s meaningful to** **_you_** If you want to turn your quarter-life crisis into a breakthrough, you have to stop focusing on everyone else’s noise, and start asking yourself why _you’re_ here. What do you care most about? What do you want to do for the world? What are you really good at? What types of people do you want to surround yourself with? How much money do you need to live your desired lifestyle? I call this finding alignment between who you are and how you’re spending your days. ### **Turn your doubt into action** When I was stuck in my old job, [fear of the unknown](http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20646990,00.html "undefined") often kept me up all night. This doubt never really goes away, but I’ve learned that we can turn our doubts into research, into positive energy that takes us closer to our next lily pad. If you write your doubts and fears on paper, you can begin to take tangible action steps toward figuring out what’s next in your life. This might mean reading a book that interests you, signing up for a class, launching a crowdfunding campaign for a creative project, starting a blog, attending a cool conference or event, traveling somewhere you always wanted to go, having [coffee](http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20332926,00.html "undefined") with a mentor, or pursuing an apprenticeship or volunteer opportunity that excites you. ### **Find a community of people who believe in the beauty of your dreams** Surviving a quarter-life crisis is the result of both hard work and finding the right people to support your journey. You can’t do it alone. Building a community of believers is the difference between your breakthrough being a dream and a dream come true. So, start finding people who make you better. People who inspire you; who are creative, who are living for others, who hold you accountable. Depending on where you live, believers might be easy or incredibly difficult to find. Attend conferences, ask your network for ideas, and use social media to find local meet-up groups based on your interests. **_Health.com:_** [_8 Promises Every Woman Should Make to Herself_](http://news.health.com/2015/04/15/8-promises-every-woman-should-make-to-herself/?xid=time "undefined") ### **Practice weekly self-care rituals** When I was stuck in my quarter-life crisis, overworked and stressed, I definitely wasn’t taking care myself—and I got shingles! I didn’t give myself time to eat well, see friends, [meditate](http://news.health.com/2015/08/28/the-beginners-guide-to-meditation/ "undefined"), write in my [journal](http://news.health.com/2015/01/13/the-healing-powers-of-keeping-a-journal-and-3-ways-to-stick-with-it/ "undefined"), or exercise. If you don’t take care of your body, it’s nearly impossible to reach your goals or help anyone else reach theirs. [Finding your purpose](http://news.health.com/2015/12/07/sense-of-purpose-in-life-may-boost-longevity-heart-health/ "undefined") doesn’t translate to applying to as many to jobs online as you possibly can. Finding your purpose means spending time doing the things you love, with the people you love most. It also means learning how to be kind to yourself. So, what are three things you can do to [be kind to yourself](http://news.health.com/2015/09/17/6-simple-self-care-tips-that-changed-my-life/ "undefined") this week? Think about ways you can treat yourself, take care of yourself, and create yourself. If you’re lucky, practicing self-love might even bring you closer to the purpose you’ve been searching for. _Adapted from_ [The Quarter-Life Breakthrough: Invent Your Own Path, Find Meaningful Work, and Build a Life That Matters](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0143109529/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0143109529&linkCode=as2&tag=timecom-20&linkId=385776d4cd06762dbafe7c35505338ac "undefined") _by Adam Smiley Poswolsky, available from TarcherPerigee/Penguin Random House. Subscribe for more career resources at_[_smileyposwolsky.com_](http://smileyposwolsky.com/ "undefined")_._ _This_ [_article_](http://www.health.com/mind-body/quarter-life-crisis-millenials/?xid=time "undefined") _originally appeared on_ [_Health.com_](http://www.health.com "undefined") ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4525422/quarter-life-crisis-find-passion/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4525422/quarter-life-crisis-find-passion/"},"headline":"How to Survive a Quarter-Life Crisis and Find Your True Purpose","datePublished":"2016-10-12T18:00:49.000Z","dateModified":"2026-02-23T01:06:43.503Z","description":"Find what's meaningful to you, not others","url":"https://time.com/4525422/quarter-life-crisis-find-passion/","keywords":["Mental Health/Psychology"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blta4a2ef091a682be9/69887b48cd1bba21b26ff2eb/confusion-2-mental-health-self-betterment.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Adam Smiley Poswolsky / Health.com"}],"articleSection":"Health","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blta4a2ef091a682be9/69887b48cd1bba21b26ff2eb/confusion-2-mental-health-self-betterment.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"confusion-2-mental-health-self-betterment-motto-stock","caption":"confusion 2 mental health self betterment motto stock","creditText":"Peechaya Burroughs for TIME","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/health/","name":"Health"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/mental-healthpsychology/","name":"Mental Health/Psychology"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4525422/quarter-life-crisis-find-passion/","name":"How to Survive a Quarter-Life Crisis and Find Your True Purpose"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"How to Stay Mentally Strong When You Think You're About to Crack","description":"","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/QLgnQEN9/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2016-01-27T15:44:28.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/QLgnQEN9.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/4525422/quarter-life-crisis-find-passion/","duration":"PT39S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/4525422/quarter-life-crisis-find-passion/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```