--- title: Debate: Donald Trump’s P-ssy Comment Inspired Women to Share description: Donald Trump's "grab them by the p-ssy" comments are not just words. They normalize actions that harm us canonical: https://time.com/4525201/donald-trump-kelly-oxford-sexual-assault/ author: Darlena Cunha article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2016-10-10T16:42:31.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:55:05.120Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Donald Trump’s ‘P-ssy’ Comment Inspired Thousands of Women to Share Assault Stories og:description: "We can defeat ISIS and also not assault women" og:url: https://time.com/4525201/donald-trump-kelly-oxford-sexual-assault/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt8f13d345a278a9b8/6988a960524fc01907df9ca7/trump2.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks during the second presidential debate at Washington University in St. Louis, on Oct. 9, 2016. og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Donald Trump’s ‘P-ssy’ Comment Inspired Thousands of Women to Share Assault Stories twitter:description: "We can defeat ISIS and also not assault women" twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt8f13d345a278a9b8/6988a960524fc01907df9ca7/trump2.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Donald Trump’s ‘P-ssy’ Comment Inspired Thousands of Women to Share Assault Stories ## Video: The Biggest Moments from the Second Presidential Debate [Watch (HLS stream): The Biggest Moments from the Second Presidential Debate](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/0oFylqsH.m3u8) (3:19)  _Published 2016-10-10. The two candidates face off in the second of three presidential debates._ by [Darlena Cunha](https://time.com/author/darlena-cunha/) ## Darlena Cunha Oct 10, 2016 4:42 PM UTC  Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks during the second presidential debate at Washington University in St. Louis on Oct. 9, 2016 Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks during the second presidential debate at Washington University in St. Louis on Oct. 9, 2016Robyn Beck—AFP/Getty Images by [Darlena Cunha](https://time.com/author/darlena-cunha/) ## Darlena Cunha Oct 10, 2016 4:42 PM UTC “Just words.” That was one of Donald Trump’s myriad of defenses during the [second presidential debate](http://time.com/4523325/read-the-transcript-of-the-second-presidential-debate/) about the [leaked tape from 2005](http://time.com/4523653/donald-trump-leaked-audio-women/) that recorded him telling Billy Bush, formerly of _Access Hollywood_, about how he can’t stop himself from groping and kissing women without asking and how he tried to “f-ck” a married woman. But the self-described “locker room” talk isn’t just “words” to 51% of America’s population and the majority of America’s voters. About [1 in 5 women](http://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/publications%5Fnsvrc%5Ffactsheet%5Fmedia-packet%5Fstatistics-about-sexual-violence%5F0.pdf) experiences sexual assault in their lives in the U.S., according to one estimate. Because too many think that words like “grab them by the p-ssy” are acceptable, actions that emulate them follow. And women are the victims. In the wake of the video release, best-selling author Kelly Oxford [tweeted](https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/784541062119456769) a request to her more than 700,000 followers. “Women: tweet me your first assaults. They aren’t just stats. I’ll go first: old man on city bus grabs my ‘p-ssy’ and smiles at me, I’m 12.” Within minutes, Oxford’s feed was overrun with stories, and they’re still pouring in. And those are only the women who are brave enough to share their stories with the world. I know I’m not that brave. And, yes, I have a story. In fact, I have eight stories. I’m guessing one of the most overlooked part of Oxford’s request is this: “first assaults.” Oxford, like most women, knows there is more than one. Too many women have suffered a dozen times over from damage by the hands of men conditioned by “locker-room talk.” Trump tried to downplay his words several times over, consistently maintaining that “no one has more respect for women” than he does. Given [the Howard Stern recordings](http://www.cnn.com/2016/10/08/politics/trump-on-howard-stern/), the [Miss America allegations](http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/15/us/politics/donald-trump-women.html?%5Fr=0) of Trump kissing her on the mouth, [the rape](http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/donald-trump-accused-underage-rape-lawsuit-a7352976.html) [accusations,](http://fusion.net/story/328522/donald-trump-accused-rape-sexual-assault/) and the verifiable, recorded[ instances](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/politics/donald-trump-sexism-tracker-every-offensive-comment-in-one-place/) of Trump disparaging women over their looks, race, weight and more, if that sentence is true, the country is in horrible shape. They’re not just words. They normalize actions that harm us. Oxford received upwards of 50 tweets a minute from women sharing their stories. This is our reality. Women demand more respect than being addressed as the worth of our parts to a man. And yet, despite being “the single most talked about story of the entire 2016 election on Facebook with millions of people discussing it,” [according to debate moderator Martha Raddatz](http://www.politico.com/story/2016/10/2016-presidential-debate-transcript-229519#ixzz4Mh5RMcho), the tape took up only the first few minutes of the debate, with Trump deflecting to ISIS [in his replies](https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-remains-defiant-ahead-of-debate-as-surrogates-grapple-with-tape-fallout/2016/10/09/9a95a09a-8e28-11e6-9c85-ac42097b8cc0%5Fstory.html): “Yes, I’m very embarrassed by it. I hate it. But it’s locker-room talk and it’s one of those things. I will knock the hell out of ISIS, we’re going to defeat ISIS.” This deflection tactic is see-through and weak. It’s a fallacy. We can defeat ISIS and also not assault women. Toward the end of the short segment dedicated to Trump’s tape, [he said](http://www.npr.org/2016/10/09/497056227/fact-check-clinton-and-trump-debate-for-the-second-time?utm%5Fsource=facebook.com&utm%5Fmedium=social&utm%5Fcampaign=npr&utm%5Fterm=nprnews&utm%5Fcontent=202609), “We can get on to much more important things, much bigger things.” To some of us, the important things are on that tape. And we’re tired of being thrown under a bus full of locker-room talk. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4525201/donald-trump-kelly-oxford-sexual-assault/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4525201/donald-trump-kelly-oxford-sexual-assault/"},"headline":"Donald Trump’s ‘P-ssy’ Comment Inspired Thousands of Women to Share Assault Stories","datePublished":"2016-10-10T16:42:31.000Z","dateModified":"2026-08-04T07:55:05.120Z","description":"\"We can defeat ISIS and also not assault women\"","url":"https://time.com/4525201/donald-trump-kelly-oxford-sexual-assault/","keywords":["politics"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt8f13d345a278a9b8/6988a960524fc01907df9ca7/trump2.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Darlena Cunha","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/darlena-cunha/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt8f13d345a278a9b8/6988a960524fc01907df9ca7/trump2.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks during the second presidential debate at Washington University in St. Louis, on Oct. 9, 2016.","caption":"Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks during the second presidential debate at Washington University in St. Louis, on Oct. 9, 2016.","creditText":"Robyn Beck—AFP/Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/politics/","name":"politics"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4525201/donald-trump-kelly-oxford-sexual-assault/","name":"Donald Trump’s ‘P-ssy’ Comment Inspired Thousands of Women to Share Assault Stories"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"The Biggest Moments from the Second Presidential Debate","description":"The two candidates face off in the second of three presidential debates.","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/0oFylqsH/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2016-10-10T04:37:57.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/0oFylqsH.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/4525201/donald-trump-kelly-oxford-sexual-assault/","duration":"PT3M19S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/4525201/donald-trump-kelly-oxford-sexual-assault/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```