--- title: Betsy Davis Right to Die ALS Party: Last Conversation description: What one woman learned from her friendship with Betsy Davis, who chose to take her life after being diagnosed with ALS. canonical: https://time.com/4456317/betsy-davis-als-party/ author: Jamie Luke article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2016-08-30T11:00:50.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-04-13T09:03:10.907Z og:title: My Terminally Ill Friend Killed Herself. This Is Our Last Conversation. og:description: She inspired me to think of my life in a new way og:url: https://time.com/4456317/betsy-davis-als-party/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt0bfc3d0c31ec9fec/6988a415196cf4122e03d006/jamie-luke-betsy-davis-als.jpg?branch=production&width=640&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 640 og:image:height: 360 og:image:alt: Betsy Davis ALS Jamie Luke og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: My Terminally Ill Friend Killed Herself. This Is Our Last Conversation. twitter:description: She inspired me to think of my life in a new way twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt0bfc3d0c31ec9fec/6988a415196cf4122e03d006/jamie-luke-betsy-davis-als.jpg?branch=production&width=640&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # My Terminally Ill Friend Killed Herself. This Is Our Last Conversation. > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. 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Worth Your Time is TIME's culture newsletter, published Tuesdays and Saturdays to 40,000 subscribers as of August 2026. #### Who writes TIME's culture recommendations? Culture editor Eliza Berman writes Worth Your Time, drawing on TIME's critics and culture desk. #### Is Worth Your Time free? Yes. It is a free newsletter available at time.com/newsletters. by [Jamie Luke](https://time.com/author/jamie-luke/) ## Jamie Luke Aug 30, 2016 11:00 AM UTC  Courtesy of Jamie Luke by [Jamie Luke](https://time.com/author/jamie-luke/) ## Jamie Luke Aug 30, 2016 11:00 AM UTC Three years ago, doctors told my close friend [Betsy Davis](http://motto.time.com/4449634/als-ends-life-party-betsy-davis/) that her body was going to soon fail her in every way. I had met her through friends in our 20s at The Brewery in downtown L.A., a scrappy-fabulous old brewery-turned artists’ loft campus. We’d dated the same guy, and thus became fast [friends](http://motto.time.com/4214797/long-distance-friendship-advice/), ripping up lands from the Coachella music fest to Venice restaurants to the Kentucky Derby (my turf). The diagnosis was [ALS](http://time.com/4426072/ice-bucket-challenge-als-discovery/), or Lou Gehrig’s Disease. She would lose the ability to swallow, breathe and move her arms and legs. Her art—she laser-cut plastic into exquisite abstract sculptures, and was a genius graphic designer—became increasingly more difficult to create. During those years, though, she fast-tracked joy. She hit countries on her bucket list and forbid friends to cry around her. She moved to Ojai and hired a woman to help her execute her art, verbally explaining to her how to draw what she was hungry to express on paper. She [died last month](http://www.people.com/article/betsy-davis-terminally-ill-throws-party-before-ending-life). She chose not only to take advantage of California’s new [Right to Die act](http://time.com/4061941/california-governor-right-to-die-assisted-suicide-bill/), but to do so in the context of a thoroughly thought-out [party celebrating her life](http://www.people.com/article/inside-betsy-davis-end-of-life-party), her art, her friends and love. She gave away her art and her clothes. I left with a crystal necklace that made me horribly sad, and a heightened sense of confusion. When I got home from the trip, I had a difficult time looking my precious 4-year-old daughter in the eye; it’s as if grief was lurking behind a clear window, and I didn’t want her to even get near that sill. Now, a month later, after the tears and the spiritual soul-searching and confusion and shock, I’m finding the experience has shed a new brilliance and fearlessness upon the way I approach the lives of my daughter and younger son. Thanks to Betsy’s example, life presents itself now as a quick chance to rock some major joy. I live in Brooklyn, where parents can be very focused on learning and accomplishments. But now I’m seeing life for my children and myself more as a space to fill with contentment, generosity, light, humor, gratitude, generosity and joy. Period. Before Betsy died she did a brief Q and A with me to the best of her ability, and it speaks volumes to this approach to both myself and my children. May we all enjoy being silly, imperfect human beings. **Jamie Luke: What is your advice to your loved ones?**_Betsy Davis:_ Do not miss me, but rather let the qualities that you admire in me grow larger in you. (They all know that my death is not the end of my adventures.) **What is your message to children?**Have more courage than fear…and be kind. **Would you do anything about your life differently?** I have thought about this, and quite frankly, I wouldn’t. I learned from my mistakes. **What’s next?**The great unknown! The best way to travel. **What will you wear as an angel?**I’m guessing there’s an official uniform? **And what will be your first act?**Put on my uniform. Then, keep Trump away from the White House. **What does your next world look like?**I’ll let you know when I get there. **What will you come back as?**I’m finished with Earth. **What is the best medicine?**Besides champagne and medical marijuana, definitely laughter; the first two help with the third, obviously. **What are your parting words to this world?**Well, I don’t have any great insight on life now, no wise words to impart. I will say that this universe is far too vast for any one thing to be important. Yet, we’re all living our lives the best way we can. So, enjoy the Now. And thanks for the blip of time I’ve had being a silly, imperfect human being. _This interview has been edited and condensed._ _Jamie Luke is the Director of Content at The Foundry at Time Inc._ ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4456317/betsy-davis-als-party/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4456317/betsy-davis-als-party/"},"headline":"My Terminally Ill Friend Killed Herself. 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