Taylor Swift's Fourth of July Party Looks Like a Lot of Work

Taylor Swift is bound and determined to lead a life (and then document it on Instagram, because, ya know, pics or it didn’t happen) that induces FOMO—and her Fourth of July party is practically the apex of photo-opp worthy, so-precious-it-hurts activities. This does, however, beg the question—is it actually fun IRL?

The now-notorious annual soirée feels somewhat less than a party and more like a display of celebrity calisthenics, tailored (reference!) for the ‘Gram.

Did you think that Fourth of July was a holiday to kick back and relax? Think again. Taylor Swift has taken good ol’ American patriotism to next level with a party that stresses me out, despite all the fun activities, boundless sunshine and beautiful people that she surrounds herself with.

Here are eight examples of why being at Taylor Swift’s Fourth of July party is exhausting, as illustrated by her Instagram feed.

1. Tay makes everyone dress in matching swimsuits, which is something that’s completely unacceptable outside of being a small child with no agency to protest, or a bridesmaid.

2. So many group pics. ALL. OF. THE. GROUP. PICS.

3. Normal slip-and-slide activities are discouraged. Major or significant water performances are preferred.

4. Apparently, declarations of love have to come in the form of personalized T-shirts and temporary tattoos.

5. In fact, aggressive body paint seems to be a recurring theme at T. Swift’s parties.

6. We are all Ryan Reynolds’ face in this moment (be honest, wouldn’t Hiddleswift inspire this kind of reaction from you too?)

7. Not playing charades is not an option, apparently.

8. More matching outfits. More group photos. Are you exhausted yet?

 

Write to Cady Lang at cady.lang@timemagazine.com.