--- title: George R.R. Martin vs. J.R.R. Tolkien: Imagining the Battle description: If you pit Game of Thrones against Lord of the Rings, who wins? canonical: https://time.com/4316363/george-rr-martin-jrr-tolkien-game-of-thrones-rap-battle/ author: Melissa Locker article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2016-05-03T17:52:25.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-04-13T07:32:05.593Z og:title: Imagining a George R.R. Martin and J.R.R. Tolkien Epic Rap Battle og:description: It's 'Game of Thrones' vs. 'Lord of the Rings' og:url: https://time.com/4316363/george-rr-martin-jrr-tolkien-game-of-thrones-rap-battle/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: TIME og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Imagining a George R.R. Martin and J.R.R. Tolkien Epic Rap Battle twitter:description: It's 'Game of Thrones' vs. 'Lord of the Rings' twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production --- # If George R.R. Martin and J.R.R. Tolkien Had an Epic Rap Battle It Would Look Like This by [Melissa Locker](https://time.com/author/melissa-locker/) ## Melissa Locker May 3, 2016 5:52 PM UTC by [Melissa Locker](https://time.com/author/melissa-locker/) ## Melissa Locker May 3, 2016 5:52 PM UTC If you pit [_Game of Thrones_](http://time.com/4289801/game-of-thrones-death-quiz/?iid=sr-link3) against [_Lord of the Rings_](http://time.com/3628745/lord-of-the-rings-supercut/?iid=sr-link4), who wins? In a new video, actors playing authors George R.R. Martin and[ J.R.R. Tolkien](http://entertainment.time.com/2005/10/16/all-time-100-novels/slide/the-lord-of-the-rings-1954-by-j-r-r-tolkien/?iid=sr-link7) (the latter passed away in 1973) face off in an epic—and satirical—rap battle brutally roasting each other in an effort to reign supreme in the fantasy genres. The video also gives fans an idea of what it would look like if, as in _The Highlander_, there could only be one literary superstar with the middle initials “R.R.”. In his opening volley, Martin takes [Tolkien](http://time.com/3701398/lord-of-the-rings-mythology-video/?iid=sr-link6) to task for letting the good guys win and actually keeping beloved [characters alive](http://time.com/4313745/game-of-thrones-jon-snow-dead-alive/?iid=sr-link2) until the end of the book. In his words: “All your bad guys die and good guys survive/we can tell what’s gonna happen by page and age five.” “Your hobbit hole heroes can’t handle my throne!” crows Martin. “You want a war, George? Welcome to Shire-raq,” answers Tolkien, throwing down the iron gauntlet, “You and Jon Snow, both know nothing!” Tolkien continues accusing Martin of Hob-biting his work. “You’re a pirate, you even stole my R. R.,” cackles Tolkien, adding, “In book sales, you’ve got nothing to say, I’m number one and two, you’re below _Fifty Shades of Grey_.” Ouch! Watch it above. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4316363/george-rr-martin-jrr-tolkien-game-of-thrones-rap-battle/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4316363/george-rr-martin-jrr-tolkien-game-of-thrones-rap-battle/"},"headline":"If George R.R. Martin and J.R.R. Tolkien Had an Epic Rap Battle It Would Look Like This","datePublished":"2016-05-03T17:52:25.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T07:32:05.593Z","description":"It's Game of Thrones vs. Lord of the Rings","url":"https://time.com/4316363/george-rr-martin-jrr-tolkien-game-of-thrones-rap-battle/","keywords":["Newsfeed","game of thrones","George RR Martin","Music","viral","Viral Videos","Lord of the Rings"],"thumbnailUrl":"","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Melissa Locker","jobTitle":"","url":"https://time.com/author/melissa-locker/"}],"articleSection":"","image":[],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/tag/time-section-newsfeed/","name":"Newsfeed"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4316363/george-rr-martin-jrr-tolkien-game-of-thrones-rap-battle/","name":"If George R.R. Martin and J.R.R. Tolkien Had an Epic Rap Battle It Would Look Like This"}}]}] ```