Amy Schumer nearly robbed the world of a lot of laughs when she was involved in a gnarly surfing accident.
“I have a pretty bad scar on my leg from surfing,” she explained. “Forty-one stitches, three layers. I skegged myself. My whole fin went into my leg, and I had to yank it out. I was by myself.”
The accident happened during the winter, so Schumer said there was hardly anyone on the beach to help her. After limping her way back to shore, she found a man and asked for some assistance. “I was like, ‘I need you to hold my leg.’ I was delegating. And he held my leg closed with his bare hands – just fat and blood coming out.”
She continued, “I wish I knew who that guy was, because he saved my life, for sure. He had blue toenail polish and nail polish; he had long stringy hair. And I remember him being beautiful. Anyway, he held my leg closed.”
Eventually Schumer’s dad came to pick her up from the beach and found her surrounded by a small crowd of onlookers. “I was like, ‘That’s my dad. But don’t get him. He’s going to freak out. He’s real sensitive. He’s going to cry,’ ” she remembered.
But throughout the ordeal, Schumer kept her sense of humor. “People kept putting towels and towels on me. I was like, ‘I’m not cold – there’s a hole in my leg.’ I was making jokes. It took maybe 15 minutes for the ambulance to get there.”
After she realized she wasn’t going to die, Schumer began to fear the prospect of losing her leg. “Now I’m going to have to go and be a speaker at high schools and, like, motivate people,” she imaged. “I was so annoyed about my life. I was just like, Ucchh. And then it was fine.”