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Karen Cahn says she went through all of her 20s suffering from sexual dysfunction and sexual anxiety—and had no idea how common her experiences were (she’s now 42). “I just felt shame,” she says. “I thought, ‘Something’s wrong with me? Why am I not enjoying sex? Why doesn’t this feel good?'”

A new video created by Cahn’s video-driven conversation platform, VProud, seeks to help all women see how normal sexual anxiety is. The episode is part of “You’re Not Crazy,” a series that features an all-female cast and tackles various mental-health issues that affect women.

“For most women, sexual desire happens between the ears before it happens between the legs, meaning if something intense is going on in a woman’s life and she is mentally preoccupied, she may be a bit shut down sexually because stress takes up so much energy and space in your mind that your desire decreases,” says therapist Bea Arthur, who participates in the series’ roundtable discussions.

She recommends that any woman suffering from sexual anxiety do some reflecting to try to figure out what’s behind it. “Are you feeling less connected to your partner?” she says. “Are you less attracted to him or her than you were before? Is it physical or is there a respect issue? … Your mind has to be able to slow down in order for your libido to take off.”

The above clip is made up of footage shared exclusively with Motto. To view the whole episode, visit or watch it here:

Check back each Wednesday for more “You’re Not Crazy” clips you’ll only see on Motto.

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Write to Robin Hilmantel at

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