--- title: New Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You Happy description: Ask a question, label emotions, make decisions and give hugs canonical: https://time.com/4225493/neuroscience-happy-rituals-2/ author: Eric Barker article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2016-02-16T14:39:44.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-04-13T09:01:51.615Z og:title: 4 Rituals That Will Make You Happy, According to Neuroscience og:description: Ask a question, label emotions, make decisions and give hugs og:url: https://time.com/4225493/neuroscience-happy-rituals-2/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt4eb9e8e4e1c0d452/6988604c8e06017e23461fdb/brain-health-illo.jpg?branch=production&width=1000&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1000 og:image:height: 563 og:image:alt: TIME.com stock health brain og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: 4 Rituals That Will Make You Happy, According to Neuroscience twitter:description: Ask a question, label emotions, make decisions and give hugs twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt4eb9e8e4e1c0d452/6988604c8e06017e23461fdb/brain-health-illo.jpg?branch=production&width=1000&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Doing These 4 Things Will Make You Happier, According to Neuroscience > Sponsored content. 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Worth Your Time is TIME's culture newsletter, published Tuesdays and Saturdays to 40,000 subscribers as of August 2026. #### Who writes TIME's culture recommendations? Culture editor Eliza Berman writes Worth Your Time, drawing on TIME's critics and culture desk. #### Is Worth Your Time free? Yes. It is a free newsletter available at time.com/newsletters. by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Feb 16, 2016 2:39 PM UTC  Illustration by Sydney Rae Hass for TIME by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Feb 16, 2016 2:39 PM UTC You get all kinds of happiness advice on the Internet from people who don’t know what they’re talking about. Don’t trust them. Actually, don’t trust me either. Trust neuroscientists. They study that gray blob in your head all day and have learned a lot about what truly will make you happy. UCLA neuroscience researcher [Alex Korb](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV) has some insights that can create an upward spiral of happiness in your life. Here’s what you and I can learn from the people who really have answers: **1\. The most important question to ask when you feel down**Sometimes it doesn’t feel like your brain wants you to be happy. You may feel guilty or shameful. Why? Believe it or not, guilt and shame activate the brain’s reward center. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- And you worry a lot too. Why? In the short term, worrying makes your brain feel a little better — at least you’re doing _something_ about your problems. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- But guilt, shame and worry are horrible long-term solutions. So what do neuroscientists say you should do? Ask yourself this question: **_What am I grateful for?_** Yeah, [gratitude](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/05/happy-all-the-time/) is awesome… but does it really affect your brain at the biological level? Yup. You know what the antidepressant Wellbutrin does? Boosts the neurotransmitter dopamine. So does gratitude. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- Know what Prozac does? Boosts the neurotransmitter serotonin. So does gratitude. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- I know, sometimes life lands a really mean punch in the gut and it feels like there’s nothing to be grateful for. Guess what? Doesn’t matter. You don’t have to find anything. It’s the _searching_ that counts. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- And gratitude doesn’t just make your brain happy — it can also [create a positive feedback loop](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/10/is-there-a-way-to-create-a-positive-feedback-98910/) in your relationships. So express that gratitude to the people you care about. (For more on how gratitude can make you happier and more successful, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/).) But what happens when bad feelings completely overtake you? When you’re really in the dumps and don’t even know how to deal with it? There’s an easy answer… **2\. Label negative feelings**You feel awful. Okay, give that awfulness a name. Sad? Anxious? Angry? Boom. It’s that simple. Sound stupid? Your noggin disagrees. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- Suppressing emotions doesn’t work and can backfire on you. **_More from Barking Up the Wrong Tree:_**[_New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful_](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/) Via [Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061771295/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0061771295&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- But labeling, on the other hand, makes a big difference. Via [Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061771295/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0061771295&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- Ancient methods were way ahead of us on this one. [Meditation](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/10-happier/) has employed this for centuries. Labeling is a fundamental tool of [mindfulness](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/05/how-to-stop-worrying/). In fact, labeling affects the brain so powerfully it works with other people too. Labeling emotions is one of the primary tools used by [FBI hostage negotiators](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/hostage-negotiation/). (To learn more of the secrets of FBI hostage negotiators, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/hostage-negotiation/).) Okay, hopefully you’re not reading this and labeling your current emotional state as “_Bored_.” Maybe you’re not feeling awful but you probably have things going on in your life that are causing you some stress. Here’s a simple way to beat them… **3\. Make that decision**Ever make a decision and then your brain finally feels at rest? That’s no random occurrence. Brain science shows that making decisions reduces worry and anxiety — as well as helping you solve problems. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- But deciding can be _hard_. I agree. So what kind of decisions should you make? Neuroscience has an answer… Make a “good enough” decision. Don’t sweat making the absolute 100% best decision. We all know being a perfectionist can be stressful. And brain studies back this up. Trying to be perfect overwhelms your brain with emotions and makes you feel out of control. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- As Swarthmore professor [Barry Schwartz](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/02/how-to-find-happiness/) said in my interview with him: “Good enough is almost always good enough.” **_More from Barking Up the Wrong Tree:_**[_How To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done – 5 Expert Tips_](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/how-to-stop-being-lazy/) So when you make a decision, your brain feels you have control. And, as I’ve talked about before, [a feeling of control](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/02/samurai/) reduces stress. But here’s what’s really fascinating: _Deciding also boosts pleasure._ Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- Want proof? No problem. Let’s talk about cocaine. You give 2 rats injections of cocaine. Rat A had to pull a lever first. Rat B didn’t have to do anything. Any difference? Yup: rat A gets a bigger boost of dopamine. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- So what’s the lesson here? Next time you buy cocaine… whoops, wrong lesson. Point is, when you make a decision on a goal and then achieve it, you feel better than when good stuff just happens by chance. And this answers the eternal mystery of why dragging your butt to the gym can be so hard. If you go because you feel you _have to_ or you _should_, well, it’s not really a voluntary decision. Your brain doesn’t get the pleasure boost. It just feels stress. And that’s no way to build a good exercise habit. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- So make more decisions. Neuroscience researcher Alex Korb [sums it up nicely](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- (To learn what neuroscientists say is the best way to use caffeine, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2010/02/advice-on-how-to-best-use-caffeine-from-a-neu/).) Okay, you’re being grateful, labeling negative emotions and making more decisions. Great. But this is feeling kinda lonely for a happiness prescription. Let’s get some other people in here. **_More from Barking Up the Wrong Tree:_**[_How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert_](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/) What’s something you can do with others that neuroscience says is a path to mucho happiness? And something that’s stupidly simple so you don’t get lazy and skip it? Brain docs have an answer for you… **4\. Touch people**No, not indiscriminately; that can get you in a lot of trouble. But we need to feel love and acceptance from others. When we don’t it’s painful. And I don’t mean “awkward” or “disappointing.” I mean actually _painful_. Neuroscientists did a study where people played a ball-tossing video game. The other players tossed the ball to you and you tossed it back to them. Actually, there were no other players; that was all done by the computer program. But the subjects were told the characters were controlled by real people. So what happened when the “other players” stopped playing nice and didn’t share the ball? Subjects’ brains responded the same way as if they experienced _physical pain_. Rejection doesn’t just hurt like a broken heart; your brain feels it like a broken leg. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- Relationships are very important to your brain’s feeling of happiness. Want to take that to the next level? Touch people. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- Touching is incredibly powerful. We just don’t give it enough credit. It makes you more [persuasive](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/02/is-a-touch-on-the-arm-all-it-takes-to-make-yo/), increases [team performance,](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/are-fist-bumps-high-fives-chest-bumps-head-gr/) improves your [flirting](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/10/how-to-flirt-scientifically/)… heck, it even boosts [math skills](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/02/can-a-massage-improve-your-math-skills/). Touching someone you love actually reduces pain. In fact, when studies were done on married couples, the stronger the marriage, the more powerful the effect. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- So hug someone today. _And do not accept little, quick hugs._ No, no, no. Tell them your neuroscientist recommended long hugs. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- Research shows [getting five hugs a day for four weeks](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/01/do-hugs-really-make-us-happier/) increases happiness big time. Don’t have anyone to hug right now? No? (I’m sorry to hear that. I would give you a hug right now if I could.) But there’s an answer: neuroscience says you should go get a massage. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- So spend time with other people and give some hugs. Sorry, texting is not enough. When you put people in a stressful situation and then let them visit loved ones or talk to them on the phone, they felt better. What about when they just texted? Their bodies responded the same as if they had no support at all. Via [The Upward Spiral](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV): --- > “” --- Author’s note: I totally approve of texting if you make a hug appointment. (To learn what neuroscience says is the best way to get smarter and happier, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/01/get-smarter/).) Okay, I don’t want to strain your brain with too much info. Let’s round it up and learn the quickest and easiest way to start that upward spiral of neuroscience-inspired happiness… **To sum it up** Here’s what brain research says will make you happy: * **Ask, “What am I grateful for?”** No answers? Doesn’t matter. Just searching helps. * **Label those negative emotions.** Give it a name, and your brain isn’t so bothered by it. * **Decide.** Go for “good enough” instead of “best decision ever made on Earth.” * **Hugs, hugs, hugs.** Don’t text — touch. So what’s the dead simple way to start that upward spiral of happiness? Just send someone a [thank you email](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/). If you feel awkward about it, you can send them this post to tell them why. This really can start an upward spiral of happiness in your life. UCLA neuroscience researcher [Alex Korb](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626251207/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1626251207&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=77N7NCUP6RIJGHSV) explains: --- > “” --- So thank you for reading this. And send that thank you email **now** to make you and someone you care about very happy. **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/09/make-you-happy-2/)**_._** ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4225493/neuroscience-happy-rituals-2/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4225493/neuroscience-happy-rituals-2/"},"headline":"Doing These 4 Things Will Make You Happier, According to Neuroscience","datePublished":"2016-02-16T14:39:44.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T09:01:51.615Z","description":"Science-backed ways to boost your mood","url":"https://time.com/4225493/neuroscience-happy-rituals-2/","keywords":["motto","Psychology","health","Question Everything","Science"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt4eb9e8e4e1c0d452/6988604c8e06017e23461fdb/brain-health-illo.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Eric Barker","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/eric-barker/"}],"articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt4eb9e8e4e1c0d452/6988604c8e06017e23461fdb/brain-health-illo.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"TIME.com stock health brain","caption":"TIME.com stock health brain","creditText":"Illustration by Sydney Rae Hass for TIME","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/tag/motto/","name":"motto"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4225493/neuroscience-happy-rituals-2/","name":"Doing These 4 Things Will Make You Happier, According to Neuroscience"}}]}] ```