--- title: San Bernardino Victim's Boyfriend Takes Message to SOTU description: The boyfriend of a San Bernardino shooting victim who urged Americans not to condemn Muslims is taking his message to the White House. canonical: https://time.com/4174376/san-bernardino-ryan-reyes/ author: Melissa Chan article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2016-01-10T21:10:59.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:49:24.504Z article:section: Politics og:title: San Bernardino Victim's Boyfriend Takes Message of Tolerance to Washington og:description: “I was floored. This means a lot to me" og:url: https://time.com/4174376/san-bernardino-ryan-reyes/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt3123a2a752768bc0/698873be8e06012bc246398c/ryan-reyes.jpg?branch=production&width=891&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 891 og:image:height: 501 og:image:alt: ryan-reyes og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: San Bernardino Victim's Boyfriend Takes Message of Tolerance to Washington twitter:description: “I was floored. This means a lot to me" twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt3123a2a752768bc0/698873be8e06012bc246398c/ryan-reyes.jpg?branch=production&width=891&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # San Bernardino Victim's Boyfriend Takes Message of Tolerance to Washington > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. TIME is the sponsor and source of this material. > Last updated: August 2026. ## TIME D.C. 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It explains the politics, personalities and power dynamics behind the headlines, three times a week. #### Where can I get analysis of Washington politics by email? D.C. Brief is TIME's free Washington politics newsletter, available at time.com/newsletters. It is written by a TIME senior correspondent who covers the capital full time. #### Who writes TIME's D.C. Brief? Philip Elliott, a senior correspondent at TIME, writes D.C. Brief. #### Is D.C. Brief free? Yes. D.C. Brief is free at time.com/newsletters. ## Video: TIME Raw: Obama Announces Gun Control Measure [Watch (HLS stream): TIME Raw: Obama Announces Gun Control Measure](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/AdUlAkP7.m3u8) (2:23)  _Published 2016-01-05_  by [Melissa Chan](https://time.com/author/melissa-chan/)  ## Melissa Chan Jan 10, 2016 9:10 PM UTC  Ryan Reyes (L) is seen here with his boyfriend Daniel Kaufman, who was killed in the San Bernardino shooting. Ryan Reyes (L) is seen here with his boyfriend Daniel Kaufman, who was killed in the San Bernardino shooting. Ryan Reyes  by [Melissa Chan](https://time.com/author/melissa-chan/)  ## Melissa Chan Jan 10, 2016 9:10 PM UTC The [boyfriend of a San Bernardino shooting victim](http://time.com/4135879/san-bernardino-shooting-daniel-kaufman/) who urged Americans not to condemn all Muslims following the deadly California rampage is taking his message of tolerance to the White House. Ryan Reyes will attend [President Barack Obama’s final State of the Union address](http://time.com/4174365/syrian-refugee-humans-new-york-state-of-union/?xid=homepage) on Tuesday as one of First Lady Michelle Obama’s guests. The 32-year-old lost his boyfriend, Daniel Kaufman, during [December’s shooting at the Inland Regional Center](http://time.com/4135144/san-bernardino-shooter-bombs-bullets/?xid=homepage), where a married couple killed 14 people and wounded at least 21 more, authorities said. “I’m extremely honored and a little overwhelmed right now,” Reyes told TIME on Sunday shortly after the White House released the names of its honored guests. “I was floored. This means a lot to me.” Kaufman was a job trainer for adults with developmental disabilities at the center’s Coffee N’ More shop. He is credited with saving the lives of four people when he warned others to find safety before being shot and killed in the attack, the White House said. For 22 hours, Reyes thought his boyfriend survived the shooting after confused colleagues told him they thought Kaufman was injured but alive. “I was told he was shot in the arm and that he was OK at the hospital,” Reyes told TIME shortly after the shooting. “They told me he was in surgery, but that he was OK. We went to all the hospitals and no one had him. That was when all our hopes were dashed.” Since the tragedy, Reyes has been urging others during media interviews to find tolerance for all amid anti-Muslim backlash. “I speak for both Daniel and myself when I say that this attack should not encourage people to treat Muslims any differently than they would anyone else,” he has said. “The twisted actions and beliefs of a few should not be used to view the majority.” “I’m not a very political person,” Reyes said Sunday. “It proves that if you speak your mind, good things happen. People pay attention. It shows that obviously your average person can make a difference.” Reyes has been slowly healing since the shooting, although he says he’s reminded of the pain in quiet moments. “Your life never really goes back to being normal after a loss, especially one like this,” he said. “Your life takes on a new normal.” ## Transcript [ APPLAUSE ] The United States of America is not the only country on Earth with violent, or dangerous people. We are not, inherently, more prone to violence. [ BLANK_AUDIO ] But we are the only advanced country on earth that sees this kind of mass violence, erupt with this kind of frequency. We can respect the second amendment while keeping an irresponsible law breaking few from inflicting harm on a massive scale. Anybody in the business of selling firearms must get a license and conduct background checks, or be subject to criminal prosecutions. We're gonna do everything we can to ensure the smart and effective enforcement of gun safety laws that are already on the books. Which means we're gonna add 200 more ATF agents and investigators. We're gonna require firearms dealers to report more or less, more lost or stolen guns. We're gonna do more to help those suffering from mental illness get the help that they need. We need to develop new technologies to make guns safer. If we can set it up so you can't unlock your phone unless you got the right fingerprint, [ BLANK_AUDIO ] Why can't we do the same thing for our guns? Our inalienable right to life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness, those rights were stripped from college kids in Blacksburg and Santa Barbara. And from high schoolers at Columbine And from first graders in new town first graders and from every family who Who never imagined that their loved one would be taken from our lives by a bullet from a gun. 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