Turns out koalas are sore losers. And also a little bit terrifying.
It’s koala mating season in Australia, which means trees everywhere have essentially become crowded bars during Ladies’ Night, with aggressive males fighting and making all sorts of really weird noises.
In this video, the loser of one such brawl (well, it’s unclear if both koalas are male, but it makes sense) loses his place in a tree, and he sits on the ground and cries. He cries like he just watched Toy Story 3. He cries like he just heard Elliott Smith for the first time. He cries, in short, like a baby.
But that’s not the only treat in this clip! No, we also find out that koalas can make some kind of horrible, low-pitched growl like they’re auditioning to be the lead singer of a Florida death metal band. While loser-boy is sitting on the ground, bawling, paws out like he just needs a hug, his opponent is still hanging out in the tree, murmur-growling away.
Then it’s time for Round 2. It still doesn’t go very well for Terry. (The name I’ve given this perennial loser; apologies to all Terrys.)
The lesson in this: Mating season makes males of all species behave embarrassingly. There’s probably a female koala just out of frame in this video, shaking her head disapprovingly.