Even though it’s been unseasonably (and unreasonably) warm in many parts of the U.S., it is definitely December, and Christmas is almost upon us. As the holidays get closer, people are turning to Google for things like: what to contribute to their office gift exchange, and how to respond when people drink too much eggnog and start talking about politics.
But people are also turning to Google to ask their burning questions about Santa Claus. Google provided us with data for the 10 most common Santa-related questions in the U.S., based on searches in December of 2013, 2014 and 2015. Unfortunately, this data is not broken down by age, so it’s unclear how many of these questions come from children and how many come from full-grown adults.
1. Is Santa real?
This is a big one, obviously. We assume this query is mostly coming from precocious young kids who just have a feeling that this whole Santa Claus thing is bogus. Also, a select few adults who still watch Disney movies.
2. Where is Santa?
We imagine this question coming from the precocious kids, directly after the previous question. “Is Santa real? Well, then where is he?”
3. Where is Santa right now?
This is the next question in the sequence. “Well, if Santa’s so real, where is he right now?” Today’s kids all have GPS-enabled phones, and they know how difficult it is for anyone—even Santa—to stay off the grid. So if he’s real, they’d like to be able to track his location.
4. How many reindeers does Santa have?
This is totally legit. It’s genuinely hard to remember. Santa’s reindeer are like the Kardashians—there are always a few you totally forget about until their new haircut goes viral. Luckily, Santa’s reindeer have their own Wikipedia page, which is a handy little resource.
5. How to draw Santa
These people should probably be Googling “how to make cute little Santa desserts” instead. Like, if you’re trying to do arts and crafts, you might as well make it edible. And you can find some really cute stuff on Pinterest.
6. How old is Santa Claus?
This question is probably coming from senior citizens who’ve known about Santa Claus all their lives and are realizing he must be really, really, really old by now. Doesn’t he get fatigued from all that traveling? Like the Pope?
7. Who is Santa Claus?
OK, who are all the trolls Googling this? You know who Santa is.
8. When will Santa be at my house?
This feels like a genuine question coming from earnest little kids who need to know when Santa is going to show up to drop off their third iPad.
9. Where does Santa live?
Santa’s ancestral homeland (and current residence) is actually a hotly debated issue. People probably Google this one when someone who is not from the U.S. tries to argue that Santa is from anywhere other than the North Pole.
10. Is Santa really real?
PEOPLE JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE.
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