Michele Mattei; Photo Illustration by Alex Thebez for TIME
September 11, 2015 12:38 PM EDT

Monogamy is not the solution, but it is a problem—a charade we insist on, thus institutionalizing dishonesty. An unnatural act for homosapiens, monogamy fails even when it succeeds as the scramble for a female “Viagra” attests: millions of women in monogamous relationships have the same damn headache. But the single most effective—and well-documented—solution for female sexual disinterest is not that new pill but a new man. If women acknowledged this fact, and acted accordingly, the resulting sexual anarchy might well push the remaining vestiges of patriarchy past the finish line, and one orgasm at a time we’d warm the globe.

Bentley is a Guggenheim Fellow and author of The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir.

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