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September 3, 2015 12:01 AM EDT
Barker is the author of Barking Up The Wrong Tree

There are ways to make a narcissist easier to deal with.

Emphasize community when you talk to them. When they feel there’s a strong group behind something, they’re more likely to behave:

(To learn how to get people to like you — from an FBI behavior expert — click here.)

When they do something wrong, use disappointment as a weapon to keep them in line. It works better than anger:

(To learn how to make difficult conversations easy, click here.)

Maybe you think you don’t deal with too many narcissists. There’s research that shows the leader of a group is more likely to be on the narcissistic end of the spectrum:

(To learn how to win every argument, click here.)

This piece originally appeared on Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

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