How Complaining Hurts Your Career (and Happiness)

August 12, 2015 6:55 PM EDT

It’s easy to get into the habit of complaining at work. In fact it can be a way of bonding with your colleagues. Those sidechat grousing sessions can feel so satisfying in the short term. But as leadership coach Rick Tamlyn explains, complaining has a toxic effect on our ability to progress and find our best creative selves.

Of course, you may not think you’re a complainer, but as Tamlyn suggests, try tracking how many negative thoughts and words you express every day, versus the positive moments. The tally may surprise you. Changing that dynamic is hard, but key, says Tamlyn who believes changing the way we talk about our lives can be one of the most essential ways to move toward the career and life we want.

Tamlyn is a leadership coach, motivational speaker and advisor to Fortune 100 companies, small businesses, nonprofits, and churches. His goal is helping people get unstuck so that they can tap into their own creativity. He has built a global audience, speaking and conducting workshops in more than 17 countries for individuals and companies such as IBM, The Coaches Training Institute, Glaxo-SmithKline, Schneider Electric, among others.

He is the author of Play Your Bigger Game (2013), and a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) as well as a Master Certified Coach (MCC) as designated by the International Coach Federation (ICF), and a senior trainer for The Coaches Training Institute, a coach training and leadership development organization.

You Asked: Your Top 10 Health Questions Answered

**You Asked: Are Cleanses Healthy?** Potions that claim to clear your body of toxins might sound alluring, but do they deliver?Illustration by Peter Oumanski for TIME

You Asked: Is Dessert Bad For Me? — **You Asked: Is Eating Dessert Really That Bad For Me?** Bad news for sweet-eaters—except if you end your meals with this kind of treat.Illustration by Peter Oumanski for TIME

**You Asked: What’s the Best Way to Whiten My Teeth?** Yes, teeth whitening actually works—but here's why you have to dish out major bucks to see results.Illustration by Peter Oumanski for TIME

You Asked: Is Meditation Worth It? — **You Asked: Is Meditation Really Worth It?** From easing stress to lowering heart disease risk, focusing your mind can do some amazing things for your body.Illustration by Peter Oumanski for TIME

**You Asked: What’s the Healthiest Sweetener?** Take a taste of the unsettled science of sweeteners.Illustration by Peter Oumanski for TIME

**You Asked: Should I Go Paleo?** The pros and cons of eating like a caveman.Illustration by Peter Oumanski for TIME

**You Asked: Is Cracking Your Knuckles Bad?** Here's what really happens to your joints when you snap, crackle and pop.Illustration by Peter Oumanski for TIME

**You Asked: Is Running on a Treadmill as Good as Running Outside?** You'll fool your body into thinking it's outside with this one small treadmill tweak.Illustration by Peter Oumanski for TIME

**You Asked: Does Laughing Have Real Health Benefits?** Here's proof that everybody could use a belly laugh.Illustration by Peter Oumanski for TIME

**You Asked: What Is My Poo Telling Me?** If you listen hard enough, you'll hear all kinds of health stories from #2.Illustration by Peter Oumanski for TIME

Listen to the most important stories of the day

How to Revive Your Creative Side at Work

You Asked: Your Top 10 Health Questions Answered

More Must-Reads from TIME