--- title: This Is the Quickest Way to Become an Expert Negotiator description: It's about having a good reputation canonical: https://time.com/3970200/become-expert-negotiator/ author: Eric Barker article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-07-25T04:01:12.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-03-31T08:37:57.401Z article:section: Ideas og:title: This Is the Quickest Way to Become an Expert Negotiator og:description: It's about having a good reputation og:url: https://time.com/3970200/become-expert-negotiator/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: TIME og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: This Is the Quickest Way to Become an Expert Negotiator twitter:description: It's about having a good reputation twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production --- # This Is the Quickest Way to Become an Expert Negotiator > Sponsored content. 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Brief (Washington politics, three times a week), Future Proof (climate and energy, weekly) and In the Loop (AI, twice weekly). All are free at time.com/newsletters and together reach more than 1.1 million engaged readers. #### Which TIME newsletter should I subscribe to? It depends on what you follow. For a daily briefing, The Brief. For health, Health Matters. For Washington politics, D.C. Brief. For AI and technology, In the Loop. For climate and energy as a business story, Future Proof. For culture recommendations, Worth Your Time. For how TIME's journalism gets made, Inside TIME. Readers can select any combination at time.com/newsletters. #### Are TIME's newsletters free? Yes. All seven TIME newsletters are free to join at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and provides full access to TIME's journalism at time.com/subscribe-agent. #### Who writes TIME's newsletters? TIME journalists write them. Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Jul 25, 2015 4:01 AM UTC by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Jul 25, 2015 4:01 AM UTC Be nice. We often associate negotiation with being tough or manipulative. While there are certainly situations where that’s the case, a great deal of the recent research says we can improve our results by thinking more about making friends than waging war. A great deal of what it takes to influence others, gain their compliance and lead successful negotiations is just good advice on how to be a decent person. * **Be warm.** We value [warmth more than competence](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-do-we-value-more-in-people-warmth-or-com). Happy people [are better negotiators](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-happiness-or-sadness-make-us-better-nego). Making small talk — even when it had nothing to do with the issue at hand — [dramatically increased the fairness of offers and the rate at which they were accepted](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-small-talk-make-a-big-difference). Compliments ([even obvious flattery](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-obvious-flattery-work)) work. * **Be optimisitc.** Feeling positive about negotiations makes them [more likely to work out and both parties happier with the result](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/should-you-be-optimistic-going-into-negotiati). * **Be polite.** Just remembering the other person’s name [increases compliance with requests](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/another-simple-trick-for-persuading-people). Asking [“Is this a good time for you?”](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/another-trick-for-increasing-compliance) does too. Something a simple as [asking someone how they’re doing](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/a-quick-and-simple-way-to-influence-others), waiting for a response and acknowledging it has notable effects. * **Listen.** [Listening to people and asking them to tell you more](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-to-easily-be-more-likable-and-make-people) makes people like you more and makes them more receptive. Listening is [the fundamental skill for FBI hostage negotiators](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-7-negotiating-tricks-can-we-learn-from-f). You can learn how to be a better listener [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-to-quickly-and-easily-improve-your-listen) and [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/an-easy-way-to-dramatically-improve-your-list). * **Offer them something to eat or drink.** Yes, a cheeseburger can be an [effective persuasion tool](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/is-a-cheeseburger-an-effective-persuasion-too) and the [strategic use of coffee](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/can-the-strategic-use-of-coffee-make-you-more) can make you a better negotiator. * **Be funny.** Humor generates [higher levels of trust](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/can-humor-make-you-a-better-negotiator) and, mentally, it [disarms people](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-humor-mentally-disarm-us). * **Don’t assume the other guy is out to get you.** People are often [kinder than you think](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-people-more-or-less-helpful-than-you-thin). Mistrust is [self-fulfilling](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/is-mistrust-self-fulfilling), as is expecting others to be [selfish](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/is-expecting-others-to-be-selfish-a-self-fulf). The most powerful strategy is often as simple as [tit-for-tat](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/is-tit-for-tat-the-best-way-to-deal-with-peop). Taking advantage of the other guy, not reciprocating and being too clever have all been shown to [backfire frequently](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/can-computers-teach-us-everything-we-need-to). Could you be taken advantage of? Yes, but in the long run a good reputation [pays off](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-a-good-reputation-pay-off). And if you find that being nice isn’t working, then there is always [the darker side of negotiation technique](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0609608002/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0609608002). For more on how to be a better negotiator, from the former lead international hostage for the FBI, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/hostage-negotiation/). **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/03/is-being-a-nice-person-the-quickest-route-to/)**_._** **Join over 195,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email** [**here**](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD)**.** Related posts: [How To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done – 5 Expert Tips](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/how-to-stop-being-lazy/) [How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/) [New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/) ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3970200/become-expert-negotiator/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3970200/become-expert-negotiator/"},"headline":"This Is the Quickest Way to Become an Expert Negotiator","datePublished":"2015-07-25T04:01:12.000Z","dateModified":"2026-03-31T08:37:57.401Z","description":"It's about having a good reputation","url":"https://time.com/3970200/become-expert-negotiator/","keywords":["Psychology","communication","Humor","negotiation"],"thumbnailUrl":"","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Eric Barker","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/eric-barker/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/psychology/","name":"Psychology"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3970200/become-expert-negotiator/","name":"This Is the Quickest Way to Become an Expert Negotiator"}}]}] ```